25 Ways to Prank Octavian
by Empty Thoughts
Summary: They've had enough with Octavian so what do they do? They prank him! Twenty five times too.
1. First way

This is an AU. People are going to be OC just for the sake of lulz.

**Disclaimer: Empty Thought doesn't own PJO. If I did though, this would happen to Octavian.**

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><p><strong>1. Duct Tape, simple as that.<strong>

"Are you sure this'll work?" Percy asked Leo.

"Duct tape can do anything, just watch," Leo replied as he pulled out a strip. He handed a roll to Jason, one to Annabeth, a roll to Piper and lastly one to Percy.

"Leo are you sure this is a good Idea?" Piper asked looking at the sleeping person in front or them.

Leo shrugged, "Why not? He's asleep; he'll never know it was us," he placed the strip over Octavian's mouth, just in case he did wake up.

"I have a great idea guys!" Percy whispered. "Let's tape him to the wall!"

Jason laughed, "Surprisingly, Percy, that's a genius idea."

Percy lifted Octavian, who was still asleep, over his shoulder and held him up against the wall. His feet were a few feet off the ground so if did come undone he would fall a bit first.

"Hurry up and tape him; he's pretty heavy for a stick," Percy muttered, which caused Annabeth to laughed.

"Are you going wimpy on me Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth teased, she pulled off a long strip and placed it over Octavian's shoulders.

The other half-bloods placed duct tape all over him until he could stay stuck to the wall without Percy holding him.

"It's weird how he hasn't woken up," Piper noticed while placing another piece over his hand.

"We might have bribed Morpheus kids…" Leo said mysteriously. "Or we could have drugged him."

"If he wakes up we're in trouble," Jason said, though he was admiring their work.

"Meh," Leo said, standing back to admire it too, "it's worth it."

"This is going to take forever to get off!" Percy laughed.

"Since when did you enjoy pranks so much?" Annabeth asked with an eyebrow raised.

Percy grinned, "It's probably a side effect of spending a lot of time with the Stolls."

Leo started shoving what was left of the duct tape in a bag. He pretended to clap invisible dust off of his hands. "See, I told you guys. Duct tape can do anything."

Everyone stepped back and took a look at their work; Octavian was covered head to toe in silver tape. His head was hanging limply, and he was still asleep.

"I guess duct tape _can_ do anything."

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><p><strong>Don't feel pressured into reviewing or anything. But if you do feel like reviewing, I'm not complaining.<strong>

Edited 16/6/13: the horror. oh my God why did you guys read this story?


	2. Second way

I just noticed something: whenever I write about the Stoll brothers, they always have some sort of animal involved. Like A Day at Camp, Connor had a chicken. If you read this chapter you'll understand what I'm trying to say.

Ah, Bob.

**Disclaimer: Empty Thoughts doesn't own PJO, if I did this would happen to Octavian.**

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><p><strong>2: "Great night!" <strong>

"Are you sure this won't kill him?" Jason asked.

"I'm not a pharmacist!" Annabeth cried, "how am I supposed to know. Though if he dies, it's not my fault."

She shoved a bottle of pills into Jason's hands, "Judging by his weight and height, give him two."

"Thanks Annabeth!" Jason yelled over his shoulder as he walked away.

Jason went to find Leo, Percy and Frank.

Leo gave him a high-five.

"Why did Annabeth have sleeping pills?" Frank asked Percy who shrugged.

"She's Annabeth. I have a feeling she confiscated them from the Stolls, though. Do you know how bad that would be if they had those?" Percy shuddered at the thought of all the destruction they could bring with the tiny white pills.

"I don't know, I've never actually met them but from what I've heard, bad."

Leo cut in, "it's a shame you've never met them. Those guys are a riot."

"They tried to sell me a Llama." Jason said, thinking back on that strange conversation.

"Oh," Percy said, "they haven't gotten rid of Bob yet?"

"Bob the llama…?" Leo asked. "Anyways, let's go find Megan and get this plan in action!"

And so they boys set off to find a girl named Megan.

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><p>"I don't want to do this. I'll give you your money back!" Megan tried, but the boys shook their heads.<p>

"We need you to do this Megan, take one for the team." Leo said he started pushing her towards Octavian.

"Please! I really don't want to do this." Megan tried her hardest to stay put Leo was unfortunately stronger than her.

"You know what you have to do; it'll only take a second then you can go take a shower or something." Percy said his voice apologetic.

Frank pointed in Octavian's general direction, "Look, there he is. Now go!"

Leo pushed Megan and she walked towards Octavian with one final plea. The boy shook their heads and mouthed _noooo_.

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><p>Megan stood in front of Octavian, luckily he hadn't noticed her yet, he was too busy with his weird knife and teddy bear.<p>

"Uh… Octavian…?" Megan cringed at how stupid she sounded. She quickly glanced back at the boys who sent her here. They were hiding behind a bush. _Cowards,_ she thought.

Octavian looked up, "Yes?"

"I was wondering, you don't have to, if you'd want to go to the party my friends are having tonight?" She rambled.

Octavian stood up, "Party?"

Megan nodded. "Yeah there's going to be a party… Tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to go."

"A party?" Octavian repeated. "You want me to go to a party?"

Megan tried to smile but it came out as more of a wince, "Yup. I thought you would like to come… As my date?"

She put a hand on his arm and tried to smile again.

"Yeah sure, I would love to go!" Octavian said a bit loudly with a huge grin on his face.

"See you at eight. Bye Octavian."

Megan basically ran away. _Great_ she thought, _now I have to wash my hand in acid to get his germs off._

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><p>"This party is wicked!" Leo yelled. He stopped to dance with a girl but Jason pulled him through the crowd.<p>

"Yeah they all are. C'mon we have a prank to pull."

Percy was pretending to be a ninja or something because he was crouching behind a table.

Frank came up behind and tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey Percy, what'cha doing?"

Percy jumped a foot in the air. "Gods, Frank! Don't sneak up on a man like that. But I was trying to find out which drink is Octavian's."

Frank mumbled something about how 'man' and 'Percy' don't even belong in the same paragraph.

"Oh, well you guys get back to that. I'll be dancing with some pretty ladies," Leo said and slipped back onto the dance floor.

Jason rolled his eyes. Of course Leo was abandoning the mission for girls.

"You can drag him back in five minutes," Percy said.

Just then, Octavian walked back and took a sip from his drink before walking back.

"Finally!" Percy cheered as he ran over to Octavian's drink and dropped two sleeping pills in.

After another few minutes the pills dissolved, and Percy sneaking back to stir it with a straw they found on the ground, Octavian came back to finish his drink.

It took a while but the pills took effect before Octavian was passed out on the floor. Jason dragged back Leo and for a while they just stared at the passed out Legacy of Apollo. They finally laughed and took a few pictures for Piper, Hazel and Annabeth.

Percy picked him up in the fireman's carry and walked to the door. Megan came over to tell him; "you owe me, Jackson. That guy's a creep."

"We paid you! Get over it, woman!" Leo glared as he stalked out.

"Sorry Megan," Jason apologized.

Frank finally caught up, "Hey, can I have your lipstick?"

"Why?" Megan asked, worried suddenly.

"I had an idea."

Megan looked at Frank, then to Octavian who was still being carried by Percy, then looked to the sky. She pulled cherry red lipstick out of her purse and told Frank to keep it.

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><p>"You should take off his shirt." Leo suggested.<p>

"Um, no," Percy said and dropped Octavian on his bed.

Meanwhile, Frank was busy trying to figure out the lipstick, "Do you guys have any paper?"

They all shook their heads so Frank sighed and went out to find paper. When he came back Jason, Leo and Percy were arguing.

"I'm not doing it. You do it!" Leo yelled and backed away from the bed.

"I'm not doing it." Percy said and shook his head.

Jason just shook his head and crossed his arms.

"I don't see you doing it." Leo stated at the blonde.

"Well you aren't either!" Jason yelled back.

"Wait," Frank interrupted, blinking at them confusedly, "What's going on?"

"We thought this would be a better prank if he woke up and he was only in his boxers. But no one wants to take his clothes off," Percy said, Frank noticed he was inching towards the exit slowly.

"How about Percy and I pull off his shirt you guys take off his pants?" Frank said.

Leo considered, "How about you take off his pants we take off his shirt."

But Percy had an idea, "Jason, as official praetor I order you to take off Octavian's pants."

"What!? That's abusing your powers!" Jason complained.

"Are you even allowed to do that?" Leo wondered.

Percy shrugged, "It doesn't matter. I ordered him to do it, he has too."

"You can't do that!" Jason protested.

"Who are you going to complain to? In case you haven't noticed, we just _drugged_ the auger which I'm fairly sure isn't an offence taken lightly."

"Just take off his pants already!" Frank shouted (quietly).

Jason sighed and much to his displeasure he started pulling off Octavian's pants.

"Oh my gods," Jason said.

Everyone turned around, "what?"

"He wears ducky boxers!"

There was an awkward moment of silence, and then the boys broke out laughing.

Percy doubled over and gasped, "ducky boxers!"

"Quick, someone take a picture! This is blackmail material." Leo cried. They didn't have a camera, but they tracked one down eventually.

A few minutes later when they boys calmed down, Frank explained what they were going to do and Percy got Octavian out of his shirt.

When they boys were done with their work, they left Octavian's baraks laughing their heads off.

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><p>Octavian's head felt dizzy. He sat up and was instantly greeted by the chilly air. He looked down; he was wearing his ducky boxers and nothing else. For a minute he was confused, he usually slept in shorts and a t-shirt… Where were his cloths?<p>

He heard the sound of paper fluttering. He frowned; beside his bed was a folded piece of paper. On it was a note written in cherry red lipstick.

_Dearest Octavian,_ it read.

_I just wanted to thank you for the amazingly great night you gave me last night. You really do know how to please a girl. If you ever want to meet up again, you know where to find me!_

_Xoxo, you know who ;) _

On the line below it, in more of a messy sprawly font was _(No, not Voldemort)._

For a moment Octavian stopped breathing.

_Oh gods,_ he thought, _what happened last night?_

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><p><strong>Thanks for reviewing everyone, you made me so happy. I can't get a smile off my face and I think my parents are worried.<strong>

**Review please! And if you have an idea for a prank, let me know! I'm always open to new ideas.**

Edited: 29/06/13


	3. Third way

First off, WOW. Thanks to everybody who reviewed! So far there are 11 favourites and 14 story alerts. You have no idea what that means to me guys (and girls)!

**Disclaimer: Empty Thought doesn't own PJO, if I did this would happen to Octavian.**

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><p>3. The Teddy Bear That Just Won't Die!<p>

"Are you sure we have enough?" Frank asked looking at the pile of teddy bears in front of him.

Leo shrugged, "I don't know it depends on how often he decides to kill them. If we need to we can steal- I mean buy some more."

Frank glanced at the other boy. "You stole these? Are you kidding me? Someone else paid for these Leo and now that person is out, what, fifteen teddy bears!"

Jason cut in, "twenty-two actually."

"Twenty- two!" Frank corrected.

Percy sighed, "he was joking, he actually paid for them. Well I paid for them which makes no sense because I'm broke."

"I'm brok-er." Leo said.

"'Brok-er' isn't a word in this case. Unless you were trying to say you deal with stocks." Annabeth said.

Percy laughed, "Wise girl… Stop being so smart."

"Ew, I sense mushiness ahead. Abandon ship!" Leo yelled and started to run away.

"We're not on a ship…" Frank said clearly confused.

"Just run!" Leo said.

"Wait" Percy called. "Take a bear with you."

Leo ran back and grabbed a big blue teddy bear. Frank sighed and grabbed one too then chased after Leo.

That left Annabeth, Percy and Jason.

"We should all take one and hide them places where we know he'll go. Then throughout the day follow him around and plop them somewhere he can see." Jason said. He was trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yes, that's a good idea, Jason." Annabeth decides and picks up a bear. Percy does too.

"You can do something with the rest. Hide them somewhere he'll never find them." Says Percy, then he ran off to find Annabeth.

Jason looked down and the bags of giant bright blue teddy bears. He was thinking of how awkward it would be if someone found him carrying these, especially Reyna.

Leo was crouching behind a window cill watching Octavian get a sandwich. Leo quickly ran in and dropped the blue bear in clear view.

Octavian sat down and took a bite out of his sandwich. _It's going to be a looooong day,_ Leo thought as Octavian took another slow bite. If he didn't hurry up soon Leo was going to slap him upside the head. But that would ruin the mission and Jason would get mad and yell at him.

Octavian took another bite and looked around. He saw the teddy bear and his eyes narrowed slightly. He glared at it for another few minutes, and Leo started to giggle (a manly giggle). The look on his face was so funny.

Octavian started to get up to get the teddy bear; Leo took it as his cue to leave.

Percy placed a gigantic blue teddy bear on top of each toilet just in case. When Octavian came in he would see the teddy bear and freak out, or at least that was the plan.

Percy ran into a stall and stood on top of the toilet seat. He heard someone walk in and he hoped it was Octavian or else his plan might be ruined.

Percy heard a stall door open an there was a muffled scream.

"What the…? I swear I sacrificed this thing this morning…" Octavian murmured.

Percy covered his mouth just in case he laughed.

"How am I supposed to go to the bathroom with this thing staring at me…?" Octavian asked himself aloud.

Percy found that very funny. He heard Octavian leave the bathroom. Percy checked to see if he took the teddy bear with him. Yup, one less teddy bear to look after.

Frank hid his teddy bear where Octavian stores his ceremonial knife (when he's not using it,) which happened to be under his bed. Frank ran and quickly positioned the teddy so it was on top of his knife. He ran and hid in someone's closet, he closed it just enough that he wouldn't be seen but he could still see.

After three minutes or so, Octavian came in. He walked over to his bed and kneeled so he could grab his knife. His hand reached something fluffy, he took a look, it was a teddy bear.

Realization washed over him. He screamed (a manly scream) and dropped the bear.

"It's following me!" He yelled. He reached out and grabbed the knife; he then plunged in into the teddy bear. He stared at it for another few minutes then finally calmed down.

"Gods I'm going insane…" He groaned then murmured something in Latin. He stood up and left the building.

Frank left the closet he was in; he walked out of the building like he came there normally and ran somewhere he thought more bears would be hiding.

Annabeth walked swiftly to the side of Octavian's bed. She put a teddy bear on his bed and took out the note. She positioned everything they way she wanted and left. She didn't want to see his stupid reaction. She thought about the note she left, it had four words:

_**WE WILL HAVE REVENGE!**_

Jason felt stupid. Leo made sure he looked 'appropriate' for what he was about to do. He was dressed in black, head to toe. He even had a black ski mask.

Jason yawned; it was too late to be up. It was what, three in the morning? Or would this be considered early…?

Leo nudged him out of his thoughts. He made some sort of hand signal which made no sense.

"Just go!" Leo said exasperated.

Jason rolled his eyes and crept towards Octavian's bed. He heard someone snore and another person turn over. He started walking faster.

Octavian looked almost non-evil when he was sleeping. Not that Jason was watching him sleep or anything! As carefully as he could he balanced the bear on Octavian's stomach so when he woke up it would be staring at him.

Jason stifled a laugh as he left, this will be good!

Reyna grabbed herself a mug of hot chocolate. She couldn't remember the last time she had hot chocolate…

All was quiet around her, the whole place practically breathed serenity. It was pure bliss. There was no one to complain about how their sword wasn't as cool as someone else's or complaining about how unfair it was that she was the only one with a Pegasus.

Pure bliss…

Well that was probably because it was 6:30 in the morning. She didn't mind though, it was worth it.

She could hear the bird quietly tweeting, the wind rushing through the trees, the person screaming- wait, what?

She could hear a person screaming. It sounded like a male but it was high-pitched… And it was getting louder which meant it was getting closer.

So much for serenity and bliss.

She dumbed the rest of the hot chocolate down the drain and when to find the source of her serenity killer.

It wasn't very hard; she just had to follow the noise. The noise just happened to be Octavian who was running around in circles screaming bloody murder.

"Octavian!" She called, "what is the meaning of this?"

"Everywhere!" He yelled frantically. "They're everywhere!"

Reyna raised an eyebrow, was he going insane already?

"Octavian calm down. What are you talking about?" She asked as she grabbed onto his shoulder, forcing him to stop running.

"The teddy bears Reyna! They're everywhere. And it won't die… " He shuddered.

Reyna stood there for a minute, she was completely dumbfounded. For once she couldn't think of a reply. She bit he lip and released Octavian.

"Yes teddy bears are everywhere. Why won't it die…? Never mind I don't want to know. You can keep running but if I hear you yell again I will not hesitate to stab you." Octavian nodded and politely waited for her to leave.

She started walking back to her kitchen for more hot chocolate. She decided she was going to ask Percy about this.

Percy was eating breakfast with his Greek friends and Jason.

"Percy." She said.

He looked up his mouth full of waffles and said, "yeah?"

Reyna's look clearly wasn't please. He quickly swallowed and repeated himself.

"This morning I found Octavian running around in circles screaming about teddy bears being everywhere and how they won't die. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" She asked.

Percy shared a glance with his friends. They all burst out laughing.

"No," Percy choked out between laughs. "No I don't know why he was doing that."

_Great, _Reyna thought, _maybe Octavian is going insane._

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><p><strong>Did you like it?<strong>

**Review please!**


	4. Fourth way

**Well, 11 chapters to go! Thanks to all of you who reviewed and stuff (stuff= 19 favs and 25 alerts :). I tried to reply to all of your reviews but I'm not sure if I got you all. **

**ZOMG- OVER 1000 HITS! Thanks so much guys! (And girls!)**

**Sorry about the long wait, I blame winter vacation for messing up my life.**

**I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but there's this guy named Colman and he has my copy of the Son of Neptune, so I'm sorry if I got facts wrong… Stupid Colman…**

**Disclaimer: Empty Thoughts doesn't one PJO, if I did this would happen to Octavian. Mwaha :)**

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><p><strong>4. Makeover<strong>

All was calm on the Argo II, well sort of. It would have been calm if Percy and Annabeth would stop arguing. And if Leo would stop setting random things on fire. And if Frank would stop laughing with Hazel.

Okay so maybe it wasn't very calm. But it was less calm when Piper started screaming.

_Monster! _Everybody thought, they immediately ran down the deck into Pipers room to find the room absent of any monsters.

"It's everywhere!" She screamed as she backed away from her bag.

Leo frowned, "uh, Beauty Queen? Do you mind telling us what's going on?"

Piper backed up and pointed at her bag. Hazel peeked at the bag, it was filled with… Make-up?

"I don't get it." Hazel tilted her head.

"My siblings _packed_ my bag full of make-up." Piper said, her eyes didn't leave her bag.

Hazel was still confused, "I thought daughters of Aphrodite liked make-up."

"Not this one!" Leo laughed at Piper messed up face. It looked like that face people used on the internet, O.o, yeah that one.

"_Ohmygods!_" Percy exclaimed really fast. "I was thinking-"

Annabeth snorted, "don't hurt yourself there."

Percy glared while everyone else laughed, "I thought you were my friends! Anyway, we should give Octavian a makeover courtesy of the Aphrodite cabin!"

"Huh," Frank said, "not a bad idea. Good going Percy."

Percy smiled; he knew someone would like the idea.

Meanwhile Piper considered the idea. "Are we going to knock him out again or something?"

"You could charm speak him to sleep like you did to Gaea." Hazel suggested.

High-fives were exchanged.

"We so smarts."

Frank was the poor soul who had to drag the make-up bag through the city. He was blushing deeply; sadly the bag with the make-up was in just _had_ to be the bright neon pink one. The fates must hate him.

Also his '_friends'_ were walking far ahead so they wouldn't be seen with him. He wanted to turn into a bear and destroy the stupid pink bag. Or an elephant and step on it. Or he could turn into a bumble bee- wait what's the point of that? Sting the bag then _die_? He could sting his friends but then he would have to be a wasp. So you know; his butt wouldn't fall off.

"Frank hurry up!" Percy yelled from all the way down the street. Frank rolled his eyes and started walking faster.

"There you are I thought you were lost!" Hazel teased. Frank, the mature person he is, stuck his tongue out at her.

Piper sighed and started walking into the general direction of Octavian.

"Hi Octavian!" She greeted cheerfully, she could feel the charm speak leaking into her voice. "How about you come with me to…" She looked back at her friends. "Uh, to the uh, fifth cohort barracks?"

At first he seemed skeptical but then with the help of charm speak he happily and followed Piper like a lost puppy.

"I found him." Piper said nonchalantly, studying her nails.

The others grinned evilly at Octavian who seemed oblivious to them all.

"Leo," Annabeth cut in, "that's blush."

Leo looked at the small compact in his hand, "so?"

"It doesn't go on his lips."

Leo frowned and looked at the blush again. "Are you sure…?"

"Yes, I'm a girl. Girls know these things." Annabeth said slightly agitated.

"Then what goes on his lips?" Leo asked with a roll of his eyes.

"Hmm I don't know. Lipstick perhaps?" Annabeth said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well to any girl it would have been.

"I think he needs more gunk on his eyelids." Frank stated.

"Gunk?" All the girls asked at once, it was kinda creepy.

Exasperated Frank said, "I don't know! My mom wasn't into this kind of stuff."

"Eye shadow." Piper deadpanned. "I don't even _like_ make-up and I knew that."

Percy patted Frank on the shoulder, "it's okay Frank. I used to be like you _but then I took an arrow to the knee."_

"What? When!" Annabeth questioned.

"It was a joke…"

"I don't get it." Hazel said.

"You know, Skyrim…?" Percy prompted.

Everyone shook their heads slowly.

"I feel unappreciated." Percy pouted.

"More eye shadow gunk! He needs more eye shadow!" Leo yelled suddenly.

"Pink, blue or neon green?" Piper asked, showing him the colourful choices.

Leo smiled stupidly and picked the neon green.

The six stood back to admire their work. It was absolutely horrible, or brilliant, it depended on whose point of view you were on.

Octavian had bright pink eye shadow on one eye lid –no it wasn't his colour- and neon green on the other. His lips were bright red –also not his colour- and someone messed up and it ended up all over his chin and up his cheeks so he looked like the Joker. His skin was covered in a dark foundation that was meant for Pipers skin tone and the blush… Oh gods the blush. Leo decided if it wasn't meant for his lips it's was meant to draw random circles on his face. Percy used the dark brown eyeliner to draw some _very_ inappropriate pictures all over his face. Annabeth found some heavy, dangly clip-on earrings that would really start to hurt after a while and Frank put glitter on random places on his face so he looked like Edward Cullen (no, not a good thing).

They were proud; they didn't know they could be this creative. Leo pulled a watch out of his tool belt and announced it was time for dinner.

Reyna was minding her own business, eating her pasta when a loud angry voice came up from behind her.

"I WOKE UP TIED TO A CHAIR!"

Reyna tried to hide a smile and turned around. She burst into a round of giggled.

"Your face! Oh gods your face!" She squealed uncharacteristically.

Octavian wasn't amused. "Look what they did to me!"

Other tables started looking over. They're eyes widened comically then they turned around slowly. They didn't want Octavian as an enemy. But Percy's table didn't care, they laughed their heads off.

"Well…" Reyna said trying to pick her words carefully. She resisted saying '_it's better than you looked before.' _

Instead she said, "they sure were creative…"

Octavian didn't think so. "why aren't they getting punished for this?" He yelled.

"Who's 'they'?" Reyna asked before shoving more pasta in her mouth.

"Jackson and his _graecus_ friends!" Octavian pointed towards Percy, who waved innocently from the other side of the room.

Reyna raised an eyebrow skeptically, "do you have proof?"

"Well no…" Octavian flattered.

"Then you can't go around accusing people."

"But I know it was them!" He exclaimed.

"Did your teddy bears tell you?" Reyna asked sarcastically.

His eye's flared, "I won't be talked to like this! I am the augur!"

Reyna smiled sweetly, "I'm the praetor. Leave me, you disturbed my dinner." With that she turned around and shoved more pasta in her mouth. She heard Octavian's angry footsteps head out of the room.

She quickly checked behind her to make sure Octavian was gone. Good, the creep left. She picked up her pasta and headed towards Percy's table. She sat down like she sat there normally. All conversation stopped and she could feel their eyes one her. She put more pasta in her mouth and swallowed carefully.

"Okay, I know it was you guys." Reyna started.

Before she continued, Percy blurted out; "I blame Leo!"

Leo turned and glared at Percy. "Really Percy, really?"

"I am not getting kicked out of another place!"

He got some questioning looks. "How many places have you been kicked out of…?"

"One… two-three never mind, there's too many. Pretty much every school I've gone to. Like second grade, they said if I ever came on the school property again they would call the cops." Percy remembered that principle and shuddered.

"You aren't in trouble." Reyna said eyeing Percy carefully. "I just wanted say something…"

"And that would be…?" Annabeth prompted from Percy's side.

"How can I help?" Reyna asked with a devilish grin.

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><p><strong>You like?<strong>

**Sorry if there's random spelling mistakes. I was really tired when I wrote this, but it was really fun. **

***If you're going to tell me I spelt 'color' wrong, you're wrong. I'm Canadian. Get over it.***

**Speaking of spelling mistakes, will anyone be my beta? Right now spell check is saving my a- um butt big time.  
>Sorry for the long author's notes…<strong>

**If you guys have ideas for pranks let me know! I'd love to change some of mine.**

**Review?**


	5. Fifth way

**Wow you guys were really excited for Reyna. Thanks for all the reviews! 45 to be exact…**

**33 Favs and 44 story alerts. OHMYGOSH! And almost 2,000 views. Like forty-eight under. (I counted, it's actually forty eight under.) Let's get lots more reviews and favourites and other stuff after.**

**I WANTED TO POST THIS ON MONDAY BUT FANFICTION WAS HATIN' ME. I guess they saw me rollin'. **

**Last chapter I accidently said eleven chapters left, opps. I lied.**

**Disclaimer: (I thought you guys would get it already :P) Empty Thoughts doesn't own PJO, if I did this would happen to Octavian.**

**Side note: Don't play with firecrackers. They're dangerous. Trust me; this chapter is based on a personal experience. Not that I should have been playing with them anyway, they're banned in Canada for a reason. (Yup, us Canadians banned firecrackers because some idiot blew off his hand. True story.) **

**5. One word: Firecrackers. (remember there is a difference from firecracker compared to fireworks.)**

Travis' eyes glowed as he shoved the big packet of firecrackers into the pouch. He laughed manically just thinking of what his friends in California would do with them.

Last night Leo and Percy, (who remembered him and apparently the last prank he pulled before Percy lost his memory, and Percy showed no signs of forgetting when he got back either. Travis knew he was in for it when he came back, you can't dye someone purple and expect them to forget about it.) asked him to send over some pranking supplies. Hence the firecrackers.

He laughed again as the pouch disappeared.

Leo was waiting with his hands out in front of him. The Stoll brothers, his role models, were sending him a package. Any minutes now. He looked at the sky expectantly. Then he saw it, a smallish pouch appeared in the sky… Right above his face. He didn't even have time to move.

He grumbled about his bad luck. Stupid… Whoever was the god/goddess of luck.

He started back to his friends, who were probably aboard the Argo II.

"Glorious firecrackers!" Leo announced when he walked on deck.

Annabeth's eyes widened in fear, "who gave him firecrackers?"

Percy peeked out from below deck, "we got our stuff?"

"Yup!"

"What stuff?" Hazel asked.

The boys grinned, "firecrackers." They said dreamily.

Piper gasped, "oh no. Please tell me you didn't get firecrackers."

"Oh yes we did!"

Percy pulled out the firecrackers and Piper paled.

Leo pulled Piper into tight hug from which she couldn't escape. "Aw, what's wrong Pipes? You scared of firecrackers?"

Piper slapped him, "no you idiot, I'm scared of you guys with firecrackers."

"I agree with Piper. Mostly about Percy though, you've caused enough destruction to the world." Annabeth said glancing accusedly at Percy.

"I take offence to that. I saved the world; on multiple occasions might I add. I think it makes up for the couple of building I may have broken in the process."

"A couple?" Annabeth snorted. "Mouth St. Helen, you displaced thousands of people. The St. Louis Arch, can you imagine the money it cost to replace those parts? And don't even start me on your schools."

Percy glared at her. He found a lighter in the pouch, lit a firecracker and tossed it at her.

Everyone stopped and stared at the two. They were waiting for Annabeth's reaction.

"PERSEUS JACKSON!" She yelled, Percy's eyes widened comically as he ran off the ship.

When the two were gone, everyone burst out laughing.

"When they said the two fought a lot I didn't think they meant _this_ much." Piper shook her head while saying that.

"Let's just go throw some firecrackers at Octavian already." Jason said, he got up and went to find Reyna.

Reyna was giddy like a little school girl. They were going to play pranks! And it could be dangerous! Not that her life didn't have any danger, it's just that she (or anyone else for that matter) had fun while being in a life threatening situation. Or you could just call it danger.

They were following Octavian around. He was walking to his secret stash of teddy bears. Each of them had about twelve firecrackers. As for the lighters, they were just using Leo who lit his arms up to his elbows on fire.

They were wearing ski masks since they would be close up and they were also wearing all black cloths which was rather warm in the afternoon sun.

"FIRE!" Leo yelled. He lit a firecracker and tossed it at Octavian.

The firecrackers blew up mid-air, but they were still loud. Octavian jumped and covered up his ears.

"What the pluto?" He yelled. He tried to find where the noise was coming from but Frank threw one at his face and he flinched away.

The gang grinned and started lighting up more firecrackers.

"When I find out who did this I will arrange your death!" He threatned. They didn't care.

The air was filled with BANGS and POWS. Even they admitted it was rather loud.

Everything was fine and dandy until the Jason's firecrackers caught a spark. All of the short fuses started catching on fire, and the next think he knew they were exploding in his hand. Yes, it hurt.

Jason tossed the rest in the air, "Abandon ship!"

"What ship?" Frank demanded.

"Run!" Everyone screeched at him.

"I think I'm deaf now." Piper complained.

"Me too." Hazel said, she was clutching her ears.

"If you were deaf you wouldn't be able to hear anyone." Jason said helpfully.

Everyone glared at Jason.

"Don't even talk to me." Leo said, he was standing right next to Jason during the prank.

"Feeling the love." Jason mumbled.

"Well," Reyna said while standing up, "that was fun."

"Fun?" Annabeth asked with an eyebrow raised.

Reyna nodded, "I've never pulled a prank like that before. On C.C's island there was no time for pranking and I would not be Praetor if I was pranking all of the time. Jason's cohort pranked all the time, why do you think it took so long for him to become Praetor?"

"Still feeling the love!"

"Shut up!"

"I think though, for the next prank we should stick to something less explosive."

"I have an idea for a prank." Piper said.

Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"Well I learned that every daughter of Aphrodite is born with the ability to use PhotoShop." She blushed a bit there. "I read a prank on the internet once and we need to start taking pictures of Octavian's stuff…"

**Like it?**

**I found this one lame. I can't wait to write the next one. If you review and ask I might tell you what the next prank is.**

**Review please!**


	6. Sixth way

**My mouth hurts… It was literally painful to write this because I was smiling and laughing so much. I got braces and I am now feeling the pain. I'm sucking it up though, like that good, strong little girl I am. Okay maybe not so good… I'm evil.**

**Thanks to Darknesse Sith, my beta.**

**I have nothing to more talk about today… Enjoy the disclaimer, I decided to switch it up a bit.**

**Disclaimer: Empty Thoughts doesn't own PJO, if I did… MWAHAHA! You would like to know wouldn't you?**

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><p><strong>6. No <strong>**Butts**

"So…" Piper said, staring at the seven people in front of her. "We need someone's butt."

Everyone did a double take.

Jason laughed nervously. "Uh, what?"

"A butt, I said we need a picture of someone's butt."

"Not mine," Reyna declared firmly.

Piper held up her camera. "I still need someone's butt. If you want this prank to be done, someone's going to need to offer their services."

Percy put on a devilish grin. "I nominate Leo."

Leo paled considerably. "No! I don't want _Piper_taking a picture of my butt."

"I second the nomination!" Frank and Hazel said at the same time.

"Why don't we just use the internet?" Leo begged.

"Demigods can't use the internet, it attracts monsters." Annabeth said matter-of-factly.

"I don't want my butt on her camera!" Leo said.

Everyone smirked. "Too bad."

Piper smirked as well. She walked over to Leo, and promptly dragged him off by the collar.

"Guys, please!" Leo yelled, his big eyes pitiful.

They all shook their heads and mouthed, "Noooo".

Piper came back half an hour later, smirking. "Leo is in hiding."

She held up a picture of his butt. Hazel covered her eyes.

"Let's go find Octavian's stuff!" Piper handed them each all a camera, though where she got cameras no one knew.

To her delight, Piper happened to find Octavian's toothbrush, and she happily took a few pictures from different angles.

_This is going to be_so_fun!_ She decided. She laughed manically and went off to find more of Octavian's stuff.

Annabeth took a picture of Octavian's bed. Percy took a picture of his pillow.

"I can't wait to see his face when he sees pictures of his stuff with Leo's butt on it." Percy laughed.

"Me either." Annabeth giggled as she took a picture of his toga.

"You think we have enough pictures?"

Annabeth tilted her head thoughtfully to one side and glanced at her camera. "Yeah, probably," she decided.

Later, Piper sat at the computer, staring at it carefully. She had everyone's photos uploaded and now it was time for the real work to be done. By her, of course.

"Cut and paste here… erase here… NO DON'T DELETE! What the Hades is that… LEO YOU HAVE A MOLE ON YOUR BUTT!" she exclaimed.

Leo blushed. "How was I supposed to know? It's not like I can see my own a-"

"Butt," Hazel corrected.

"Language, Leo," Frank scolded.

Leo did the mature thing and stuck out his tongue. Frank responded in the same way.

"There's a child here," Piper snapped from the computer.

"Where?" Percy asked, spinning around trying to find the kid.

"Hazel," Annabeth explained shortly.

"I will have you know that I'm not a child. I'm older than most of you here – actually, all of you. I'm like… well I don't know exactly, but I'm old." Hazel crossed her arms, challenging with her eyes for anyone to contradict her.

Leo laughed, "Dude, you're going out with a kid!"

Both Hazel and Frank blushed.

"YES!" Piper yelled suddenly.

"What?" Everyone asked simultaneously.

"I finished…" Piper said sheepishly.

"Let us spread the pictures!" they declared.

Octavian was still recovering from the makeup and the firecrackers incident. Personally, he found it completely unfair. He'd just been minding his own business and BOOM, people in ski masks were throwing firecrackers at him.

All he'd ever wanted was to become Praetor and rule over the city peacefully; was that too much to ask for? Apparently so.

He walked into his room and flopped onto his bed. It had been a long, hard day of being evil. He heard paper crinkle behind his head and back. He blinked slowly and sat up. He really didn't want to look at the paper since the '_Xoxo you know who ;)'_thing, but he checked it anyways.

When he turned, he screamed in pure terror.

It was two full color pictures printed on normal paper. One was a picture of his bed. But the most terrifying part was the random naked butt on his bed (It had a mole on it). Why was someone else's butt on his bed?

He dropped the picture and looked at the other. He screamed again. The same butt was on his pillow! His pillow, for Pluto's sake!

Why in the name of Jupiter would someone put their butt on his pillow and take a picture! That is just… way too wrong and gross to describe.

He'd slept on that pillow…

Shuddering, Octavian stood up and walked to the bathroom with the suddenly urge to cleanse himself thoroughly. He angrily ripped open the shower curtain. To his shock, inside was another picture behind the soap bar. It too had the butt on it too!

"Oh my gods…" he said, completely disturbed. He had used that soap this morning!

He felt himself baby barf (yes baby barf, all the cool people do it now). The taste in his mouth was revolting.

He turned around to reach for his toothbrush. His eyes widened. Oh gods. There was a picture of it too, and guess what was on it. The accursed butt.

He ran out to his bed. He reached for his knife. His fingers felt the hilt of the knife. He pulled it out from under the bed. Attached to his knife was another picture. Yes, the butt was on it.

His knife! They even got to his knife. Octavian gave a small cry of defeat. Whoever had done this to him was disgusting.

He was about walk out of the first cohort barrack when he reached the door. The butt was on the doorknob too. _NOOO!_He thought._Why must this be?_

He decided to go out the back door, gods bless whoever decided to make a back door, and headed to the Temple of Jupiter. No one would dare to disgrace Jupiter's temple. Right?

When he arrived he learned he was right, but they did take a picture of a step and the butt was on that too.

When he found out who that terrifying butt belonged to… that person was in serious trouble. His eyes narrowed. He would have his revenge.

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><p><strong>Do you guys think there should be more Percabeth?<strong>

**You may have notice I reply to your reviews (if you haven't that means I must have accidently skipped you.) Considering how many reviews I get, it can be annoying to reply to a review and not get something back, even a 'No problem,' is fine.**

**If you don't want me to reply can you please put it in your review?**

**Special thanks for all those who offered to be my beta!**

**Thanks, review?**


	7. Seventh way

**SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! My beta and I were having technical difficulties. Speaking of betas, thanks Darknesse Sith for beating!**

**Did anyone hear about the cruise ship that sank? I'm going on a carnival cruise this March break and I am now afraid.**

**OMG MY FIREALARM WON'T STOP GOING OFF. This is what happens when my parents try to cook…**

**(I know I forgot this last time) 51 favs 64 story alerts! And over 4000 hits! Oh my!**

**HEY YOU! YEAH YOU, READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM IF YOU WANT TO LIVE! Haha just kidding. READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE IF YOU WANT YOUR AMAZING IDEA TO BE THE LAST CHAPTER!**

**Disclaimer: Empty Thoughts doesn't own PJO, if I did…MWAHAHA! You would like to know wouldn't you****.**

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><p><strong>7. Taste The Rainbow! Or just feel it.<strong>

_Okay,_Jason thought. _Maybe giving Leo and Percy skittles wasn't such a good idea._

Both were practically jumping off the walls. Leo more than Percy, of course.

And Annabeth was glaring daggers at Jason. So were the other girls. Jason, personally, found it completely unfair. How was he supposed to have known that Leo and Percy had no self-control? Frank though, found it amusing. Jason had to admit, it _was_ rather funny.

Annabeth finally had enough. She stood up angrily and marched towards Percy and Leo. She grabbed them both by the collar and shoved them into their chairs. She didn't need to tell them to stay because the look in her eyes almost screamed, '_If you try__to__get out of that chair I will run you through with my knife and if you die I will take your soul out of the underworld myself and stab you again.'_

Yeah, her eyes said that much.

"Ehem, so there was a reason to why I bought thirteen packs of skittles. I didn't exactly say to those idiots to eat them all but… It was still funny to watch. Anyways have you guys ever heard of flash mobs…?"

"I feel stupid…"

"Green really isn't my colour."

"What kind of idea was this Jason?"

"You look stupid too, I don't care if green isn't your colour suck it up and it's an awesome idea. We can eat what's left after." Jason replied.

"I look good in green if you want to switch Leo." Percy offered to Leo.

Leo looked at Percy's bright yellow cloths. "…Nah, I'm good."

"Please…?" Percy pleaded.

"No."

"Jason, why must I be dressed in bight, neon pink clothes?" Reyna asked for the twentieth time.

Everybody was dressed in obnoxiously bright neon cloths from head to toe like their ninja outfits. Percy was in yellow, Annabeth in neon blue, Piper in neon orange, Reyna in pink, Leo was in neon green, Jason was stuck with bright red, Frank was in some strange pinkish colour the girls called 'fuchsia' and Hazel was covered head to toe in purple.

"Why am I in green?" Leo asked again and the others started complaining on what colours they were in aswell.

"Guys, if you want you can go around in your normal cloths and get in trouble, it's fine by me." Jason shrugged.

The others sighed and followed their leader to where ever Octavian was.

Octavian was taking some time off from evil and was 'chilling' in the forum. He had found a new book and had already started to read until he felt something hit the back of his head. His eyes narrowed but he continued to read. Then something hit him on his back AND neck, poor boy. He turned around to find the source when something flew down his throat.

He choked and gagged, he heard someone yell, "I GOT HIM IN THE THROAT! OH YEAH I'M THE BEST!"

Octavian glared at the general direction but he was still having problems breathing.

Suddenly, eight people dressed in neon colours came out from behind a vending cart.

A little boy, Joshua something or another, randomly blurted out "Are you supposed to be the power rangers or something?"

Members of the colourful eight facepalmed.

"No," the Green one said, "We're the skittle people."

"We spread the rainbow." The red one said helpfully.

Joshua stared up at them in awe. "How do you do that?"

Octavian could see them grin from behind their annoyingly neon masks.

"Like this," the orange 'skittle person' said.

Each member picked a handful of something out of their pockets, aimed at Octavian and shouted, "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

Hundreds of colourful skittles came flying towards Octavian. He didn't even have time to move. He closed his eyes and felt them smash against his skin.

The pranksters just wouldn't leave him alone, would they?

"I don't think he's tasted enough rainbow," the blue skittle person announced.

The eight took aim again. "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

Octavian stood up and tried to run away but he tripped on a skittle and fell on his face.

The pink one laughed. "That turned out better than I thought."

Octavian groaned, but he was too stunned to get up. The purple skittle person came over and nudged him with her foot. He groaned again.

"He's okay," She reported.

"Why skittles…?" Octavian asked pathetically. Hey, falling like that hurts.

"I think J- I mean Red Skittles Dude was hungry when he thought of this."

"What kind of a name is 'Red Skittles Dude'?"

"An awesome one!" Guess who said that?

"Guys I think it's time to retreat." The pink skittles person said nervously.

Then they all ran away the way they came, leaving Octavian confused more than angry.

Annabeth stared at what was left of her bag of skittles.

"Do it Annabeth…"

"DO IT ALREADY DANG IT, EAT THEM!"

"But-but… I'll be hyper and uncontrollable," Annabeth worried aloud.

"Who cares - just eat the skittles!" Leo practically shouted.

"Fine. Stupid peer pressure." She shoved twenty skittles in her mouth and started to chew.

After she swallowed the sugary goodness, she grinned and started to laugh.

"MMMM SURGAR!" She yelled.

"Oh no, we've created a monster…" Percy said, his eyes slowly beginning to widen ...

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><p><strong>I don't really like the ending… Oh well. And now for my important long announcement…<strong>

**So, for the last chapter idea I'm thinking of holding a contest. You have to fill in the blanks below (waaaaaay below). There**_**are**_**a few rules.**

**RULES:**

**It must be original (no copying for you!).**

**And funny.**

**It has to make sense in the blanks (ex :'Dye Octavian**Frosted Flakes'**would not make sense in this situation)**

**If something doesn't make sense (an example of not making sense above) the whole thing will not count. (Wording doesn't count, if I'm having a problem I'll PM you.)**

**You can enter once per chapter. Yes that means every chapter you can think of a new idea. (Remember; it**_**must**_**be original hence new each time.)**

**I counted and you can enter a total of 17 times! (Entering stops chapter 24 of course :P)**

**WHAT YOU WIN: The pride of winning. And the chapter will be dedicated to you. (the last chapter ever! How special is that?)**

**HOW YOU WIN: I'll narrow it down to the top ten and ask for my brother's and beta's opinion.**

**THE FILL IN THE BLANKS:**

**Dye Octavian****_**(colour, yes his whole body.[No chicken is not a colour]).**Fill his food with****_**(if it's deadly it's a no-no[please don't say butterflies…])**. Tie a(n)****_**(small enough for him to carry[a giraffe would not work in this situation])**to his waist, follow him around and poke him with a(n)****_****.**(Let your imagination run wild![make sure to catch it afterword's])**. When (if…) caught****_**( SURRENDERING IS NOT AN OPTION SOLDIER!).**Put a banana****_**(extra points if you say down his pants or something like that XD)**and for the finale****_**(Again, let your imagination run wild! Put anything you want!)**…!**

**THE FILL IN THE BLANKS WITHOUT MY SARCASTIC REMARKS AND STUFF (copy and paste that into your review):**

**Dye Octavian… Tie a(n)… to his waist, follow him around and poke him with a(n)… When (if) caught… Put a banana… and for the finale…!**

**So there you have it! Copy and paste that into you review and fill in the blanks :) let the odds ever be in your favor! )**

**Review? Please! Let's try and get to 101! (just ten reviews :3)**


	8. Eighth way

***Sheepishly comes out from hiding place* I've actually felt bad for not updating. I had this whole speech due and stuff… I have to have it memorized by the 14thso… I'm feeling the pressure. *Cue music… Again. Stupid song* Anyway I've felt horrible and forced myself to write this.**

**Thanks to my beta, Darknesses Sidhe who has been putting up with me and stuff… Thanks Bell :)**

**The inspiration for this chapter came from a memory from a looooong time ago. There was this kid who sat in front of me in grade six and one day someone decided to write a 'Kick me sign' and put it on _my_back. He wasn't stealthy enough so I felt it on my back. Instead of throwing it away I stuck it on Nick's (the kid in front of me) back. Then when he got up to get something from his bag people ran up and kicked him. He pulled it off and sat back down. I took out a sticky note and put another on his back. This repeated alllll day. Best memory from grade six. It was so funny; I had like, six other people in on it.**

**Has anyone else noticed Jason is always the person holding something or is that just me? It always seems people are giving him things to hold or are taking stuff from his hands. Maybe that's all he's good for, a shelf. Ha, Jason the shelf. (No? It wasn't funny? I feel like no one appreciates me. I'm as useful as Jason the shelf.)**

**Special thanks to everyone who reviewed and entered. So many… 58 favs and 73 alerts :O**

**Disclaimer: Empty Thoughts doesn't one PJO (I thought we went over this already…!). If by some chance I happened to acquire it, this would happen to Octavian:**

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><p><strong>8. Kick me<strong>

"You'll pay me _how_much to do this?"

Leo sighed and ripped the wad of bills out of Jason's hand. "We are willing to pay you ten bucks and cover for you if you get in trouble."

"Ten bucks?" the other person said. His name was Alex, and he happened to be in the first cohort, his bunk was near Octavian's. Apparently Octavian snored ….

"Twelve," Leo offered.

"Fifteen," Alex countered.

"Thirteen."

"Fifteen."

"Thi-"

"Shut up, just give him fifteen dollars you cheepoes." Piper rolled her eyes. You might be wondering why Piper was even there since most of the planning is done by the guys (Sexist, pfftt. What are you talking about?). They were wondering about that too.

Alex snatched the bills out of Leo's hands. "See you later boys!"

_If I jump out a two story window and survive, can I tell people I can fly?_Octavian shook that thought out of his head. He wouldn't risk the broken arm.

_If a turtle looses its shell, is it naked or homeless? Better yet, is it even alive?_What was wrong with him today - these thoughts were so strange.

"Hey dude," someone said. Octavian turned around and saw a familiar face. It was that kid, Alex. He bunked near him. Sadly, he remembered that Alex had a nasty habit of putting chewed gum on his bed post then pushing people into it. Only he found it funny.

"What do you want?" Octavian asked dryly.

Alex frowned. "Nothing now… See you late dude…" He patted him on the back and ran away.

Octavian frowned. What was with that? Great, Alex had ruined his thinking streak. Octavian sighed and decided to think somewhere else.

Walking down the streets of New Rome was rather calming. He was starting to feel peaceful until he felt someone come up and kick him in the shin. He gasped in pain then hobbled around. It was a little girl around seven. She giggled at his face.

"What is your _problem?"_ Octavian yelled ferociously.

Undaunted, the girl giggled and grinned back in response.

"Are you retarded or something? Wipe that grin off your face."

The girl frowned. "My mommy said it's not nice to call people retarded. She said it is mean."

"Does it look like I care?"

"That's mean!" she yelled and kicked him in the leg again. Since when did little kids get so good at snap kicking?

"What is your problem?" Octavian shouted at the little girl. She kicked him once more and ran away.

Octavian was speechless. Was he really such a bad person that little girls would kick him for no reason? He just wanted to rule Rome; did that make him a bad person?

Actually, he didn't want to know the answer.

Less than five minutes later Octavian was back walking around New Rome when someone kicked him again. He ignored the burning sensation in his calf and turned around angrily expecting to see the little girl but instead he turned into what appeared to be a brick wall. Octavian had to take a few steps back just to see the persons face. He felt himself shrink down a bit.

"What _you_ looking at, twig?" The Wall asked.

"N-nothing!" Octavian stammered.

The Wall narrowed his eyes. "You looked angry. You mad at me, twig?"

"N-no. Not at all," Octavian said then added after a moment, "Sir."

The Wall was about seven feet tall. He was built like an elephant and smelt worse than fifteen of them. Octavian figured he was a son of Mars. He also figured that if this turned into a fist fight his chances of survival would be low.

"Why do you have a kick-me sign on your back?" The Wall asked.

"What…?" Octavian reached and tried to find the sign.

With some effort he pulled it off his back. It actually said 'Kick me plaese!' but it was still easy to see what it meant: Kick me _please_.

Octavian's fists clenched. He threw the sign to the ground. How had it gotten on his back …? Alex! But why would Alex do that? Jackson and his strange friends! As soon as he found Reyna he was going to demand they be kicked out of the city. He knew it was them!

"Are you really just going to leave that there?" The Wall asked.

Octavian chose his words carefully. "Yes… why?"

"THAT'S LITTERING!" The Wall yelled suddenly. Next thing Octavian knew he was being picked up and tossed into a nearby garbage can. Octavian awkwardly fell out of the garbage can. He glared at the Wall.

The Wall picked up the now crumpled Kick me sign and tossed it at Octavian. It hit him in the middle of the forehead then fell to the ground.

"What the Pluto was that?" Octavian asked loudly.

The Wall shrugged like it was no big deal. "Just throwing out the trash."

For what seemed like the millionth time, Reyna was approached by Octavian at dinner.

"They put a kick-me sign on my back today."

Reyna sighed. She already knew this but she wasn't going to tell him that.

"Them would be referring to whom again…?" she asked with fake patience.

"Jackson and his weird friends!" Octavian cried. "Why aren't you stopping them?"

_Because I've been in on their pranks and if I busted them I would bound to be caught too, perhaps?_Reyna thought. But instead she said, "You have no proof, Octavian. When you get me some real proof, I'll look into it," she said calmly.

"Oh but this time I have proof!" Octavian said. He held up the kick-me sign.

Reyna resisted a giggle. It was obvious that Percy had written it. He had spelt 'please' wrong.

"I think you are mistaken. Annabeth, if she was involved, would have corrected the spelling."

"This isn't fair!" Octavian whined. "We both know it's them!"

Reyna rolled her eyes. "Go sit somewhere else or you'll be polishing swords for the rest of the week."

Octavian left with an annoyed huff, although admittedly he left quickly. He didn't want to be stuck polishing swords with someone who hated him and would think, "Oh, this is the perfect chance to run Octavian through!" Then again, that just might be him and his paranoia.

The next morning the gang met up with Reyna. She had her thinking face on.

"I have a plan," Reyna announced when everybody sat down.

"What-" Leo started but was cut off by Reyna.

"I was about to get to that!" she snapped. "Anyways, this is the plan and it's a bit cruel but it might be worth it…"

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><p><strong>That was positively evil! I'm proud of myself for making another sucky cliffy.<strong>

**Well this chapter pretty much sucked. This is what happens when I'm not in my comfy chair. My grandmother was at her sisters so I wasn't at her house to write…**

**I know, blaming bad writing on a chair isn't very… I can't think of a word but it's rather stupid. But it's true!**

**This chapter was mostly featured around Octavian too. For the people who wanted more Percabeth a few chapters back, I'M WORKING ON IT MY FRIENDS! I'M THINKING OF HOW TO FIT THEM IN :D (I know, I'm actually thinking!)**

**OH DO YOU REMEMBER THAT CONTEST? YOU WANT TO ENTER AGAIN? HERE'S THE COPY AND PASTE THINGY:**  
><strong><span>Dye Octavian… Tie a(n)… to his waist, follow him around and poke him with a(n)… When (if) caught… Put a banana… and for the finale…!<span>**

**(By the way, chapter 11 or so I'll be switching up the contest [don't worry, your entry will still count]… If you want to know why, message me or ask in your review.)**

**Sorry for the long note…**

**Anyways, review? Let's aim for 131 (ten reviews!)!**


	9. Ninth way

**My Wednesday morning was spent puking up my guts… This past month hasn't been the greatest… I feel bad about not updating... Speaking of updates, when my schedule gets back to normal, I should be back to updating normally. Trust me, I feel horrible for not updating but things have been crazy lately.**

**I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed! Wow I'm amazed…**

**And to **_**Denim Jeans**_**: IT ISN'T A NINJA (This is what she thinks looks like a ninja: QK [tilt your head sideways]) NINJA'S ARE INVISIBLE, ASK A FELLOW 9GAGGER! We've been over this! Accept the truth. So next time you tell me there's a ninja write this:**

**See it's invisible. Get your facts right ALL the time!**

**This chapter was co-write by: Teenagedream123**

**Thanks for your help amigo!**

**Justin Bieber fans might hate me by the end of this. Just warning you. **_**I**_** thought it was funny but I also think it would be funny if the Beibes got hit by a van then a coyote dragged his body away and he was never to be seen again. Sorry for the mental images I might have just given you.**

**Longest chapter yet!**

**Warning: My beta is grounded or something so she couldn't edit this... :/ Might-must- have lots of mistakes.**

**Disclaimer:**

**(Can't you see the ninja holding up the sign with my disclaimer on it?)**

**9. YouTube is a magical thing.**

After explaining her plan, Reyna was excited. She was right, it was mean but it would be funny. Hopefully. They'd decided to wait until Octavian let his guard down to do it. About week later Reyna approached Octavian, on the inside she was as jumpy as a rabbit but on the outside she was cool and collected. Just like normal.

"Hey Octavian..." Reyna said trying to sound normal.

"Yes Reyna?" He started to glare but changed his mind.

"Um, you know how Percy's praetor?"

Octavian gave her the 'duuur' look. "Yes. Everyone does."

Reyna bit her lip. "Well, he's stepping down."

"What! That stupid Graecus! Why would he..." Before he could think of a suitable insult, Reyna cut in.

"You weren't exactly our first choice but Jason would rather stay with his strange friends. Anyways, we did some more scourging and still we couldn't find a suitable replacement and our last option happened to be you. We decided we didn't want yet another election so- "

"Are you telling me _I'm _going to be praetor?" Octavian exclaimed.

"Yes but-"

"I'm going to be praetor!"

Reyna resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Since you weren't elected or chosen by the people, you have to perform a ritual. It's is the just way to make it up to the gods."

Octavian narrowed his eyes but listened attentively. "Tell me what I have to do."

Late that night, Octavian found a bunch of stuff on his mattress. A tutu with its matching leotard, a purple wig, a CD plus a CD player and a set of instructions.

_To perform the ritual right, you must wear the tutu and put the purple wig on your head (just in case you couldn't figure that part out_)_. Outside the Argo II (the Graecus ship) you will find a power outlet and an extension cord, plug the CD player into that and play the CD in it. Then, you dance. It must be amusing. Remember, it's to please the gods._

Curiously, Octavian peeked at the CD. It was one of those blank CD's that you burn stuff on. _Anything_ could be on the disk, from Mozart to Justin Bieber. He shuddered at the thought of the demented beaver kid.

Octavian didn't get it; people called him Justin Beaver, so was he a half beaver, half human hybrid or was it just an awkward last name. He thought it was the first option, no matter how unlikely it seemed.

Beaver or no beaver, he gathered up the stack of random objects and headed toward the bathroom to put on the tutu and leotard.

In the bathroom Octavian looked at the mirror. The wig looked like something Hannah Montana's sidekick would wear. Not that he watched Hanna Montana…

The tutu and leotard highlighted how thin he really was. Maybe he should eat a dozen waffles…

Of topic!

It turns out though that there was a pair or ballet shoes hidden in the ballerina outfit, surprisingly his size, and they weren't as comfortable as he originally thought. Strange.

We quickly ran out of the bathroom to where the Argo II was parked (docked?). Like the note said, there was a extension cord. He plugged the CD player in and plopped the CD in to its place. He didn't recognize the song until the lyrics came up.

'_When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he's fly.'_

Gods no, anything but this song.

Then the notes words flashed in his head. '_It must be amusing. Remember, it's to please the gods.'_

He wondered if the gods would blast him if he didn't dance amusingly, or would he just not be praetor. Either option was bad.

With a huge frown he started dancing. It's was horrid actually, he looked like he was having a seizure standing up. His arms were flailing awkwardly until they formed jazz hands.

'_Girl look at that body'_

Octavian started doing the sprinkler.

'_I got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it'_

Octavian's eyes widened. Then he realized he didn't know many other dance moves and it was only half way through the song.

He got down on his stomach and started doing the worm.

'_When I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks'_

Octavian ignored the strange taste in his mouth and went back to the arm flailing.

'_I'm sexy and I know it...'_

He started doing the robot. Then he realized what part was coming next… He hung his head in despair.

'_Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah'_

He groaned and with a lot of regret, he moved his hips like the guys in the music video did. The gods would never take him seriously now.

'_Yeah I'm sexy and I know it!'_ The guys repeated one last time. Octavian almost cheered in happiness but instead he ripped the CD player out of the plug and ran away from that disastrous scene.

He could practically hear the gods' laughter.

The next morning, despite last night, Octavian strode in to the dining hall. He ready to command everyone to throw the Graecus's out of camp, but before that he really needed to flaunt his power to the chief Graecus himself, Percy freakin' Jackson.***** He walked over to the table where Jackson and his little friends were reclining.

"Hey, Jackson how does it feel to know that I've replaced you?"

Percy turned round. "What? What are you talking about?"

Smirking, Octavian replied. "Well, seeing as you're stepped down from Praetor, which is only to be expected from a Graecus, Reyna asked _me_ to replace you."

Percy shook his head.

"I still have no idea what you're talking about. Maybe you should go talk to Reyna…"

Octavian did just that.

"Reyna, my fellow praetor!" Reyna look up from her cheerios, which the Greeks had introduced to camp, and Reyna rather enjoyed their circle-y deliciousness.

"Octavian, what are you talking about?" Reyna looked confused. "Percy is Praetor, as he has been since the feast of Fortuna."

"Noooo, Percy stepped down, remember? I'm taking his place." Octavian was extremely confused at this point.

"I believe your mistaken, Octavian." Reyna replied answered calmly. "Percy did not step down, and even if he did, I think I would have asked Jason instead of you."

"But the initiation ceremony!" Octavian insisted.

"_What_initiation ceremony?" Reyna said as normally as possible, but to her she sounded like a tease.

Octavian was twitching so rapidly it looked like he was going to turn into jelly. But he straightened himself, then mumbled something along the lines of "I must be going", then stalked off in the directiong of the temple.

A few days later Octavian found himself on YouTube (Turns out there was a hidden security camera aboard the Argo II) and he was shocked to find out it was the video of his 'initiation' ceremony. He convinced himself it was a dream. When he searched at the person who'd posted it, his blood ran cold.

The profile picture was of the teddy that just wouldn't die. He let out a shrill scream that ran across the camp. He ran out of the computer café in new Rome (it's as bad for legacy's to use computers) then realized he was making a fool of himself. He regained his composure and went back inside. He watched the video one more time through his fingers.

Then, when he though it couldn't get any worse, it did.

The video had over a million views.

**~Meanwhile on the Agro II~**

Leo sat on his bed thinking wistfully of the great object he lost. It's not like it belonged to his mom or anything but it had a lot of sentiment value. You would believe the memories he had with that thing.

He sighed, "I wish Octavian would give me my wig back."

**Why hello there. Again.**

**Did you notice that random star thingy up there? It looks like this; ***

**That was my fellow co-author for this chapter and she wanted to tell you this: **If you get the reference then I love you and you can have a cookie. (::)

**See, doesn't it look scrumptious?**

**Remember, you can still enter the contest!**

**Here it is: Dye Octavian… Tie a(n)… to his waist, follow him around and poke him with a(n)… When (if) caught… Put a banana… and for the finale…!**

**Somewhere in the next cha[ter I'll come up with a new contest. I don't remember if I explained it but here's the short version. Contest above: Chapter 25. New contest: Chapter 24. Would that be cool? Two chapters you guys come up with the ideas? I already have an idea for the next contest. *Evil smile***

**Review? Let us aim for… Hm... We have 153 so let's aim for 163! Feel free to go over like last time ;)**


	10. Tenth way

**There was two reviews that made my day, one was just their name. It was: ****legen-wait for it-dary. You must be a 9gagger or something. The other, called me the goddess of bashing. Thank you, reviews :D You guys make me laugh.**

**To the people who keep saying 'Keep writing' I want to say 'no duh' I'm going to keep writing until this story is done, dang it. I ain't giving this up. I'm too awesome to give up. I'm just a horrible updater lately… I'm trying to get back into a routine.**

**READ THIS: Next week is the March break. I'm leaving Friday night to go to Florida, then on some big boat that I'm actually rather afraid of. This means I might not post. Possibly not. But I might. Probably not. So that's yet ANOTHER week I probably won't be posting.**

**Thanks for sticking with me guys :/**

**I forgot this last time but here this is: 83 favs 91 alerts. Woo…!**

**OMG 203 REVIEWS! OMG! I love you people :3**

**Thanks to Katerina Riley, for the idea. It **_**was**_** your idea right…? To many people talking to me. I'm starting to get people mixed up. Stupid brain.**

**Warning: Not edited again because I'm a horrible person.**

**Disclaimer: I almost owned PJO once, I had my hands on it and everything. Then I woke up…**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: WOOF. WOOF. Translation: What the heck just happened?<strong>

Octavian woke up with the strange urge to scratch behind his ear. He groggily tried to reach up with his hand but it failed epically and ended up hitting him on the top of his head. He sighed and opened up his eyes, it was probably time to get up any ways.

Instead of sitting up and balancing like a normal person, Octavian rolled off of his bed.

He landed with a huff but it came out like: "Woof."

Member of the First Legion woke up and looked around, trying to find the source of the noise. It was… A Golden Retriever… What the heck?

Meanwhile, Octavian was confused. Why was everything in black and white? He tried speaking to himself but again it came out like; "Woof."

"OH MY GODS IT'S A DOG!"

"Michelle, calm down, it's just a dog." Alex rolled his eyes.

"Aw… It's cute."

"Woof." Translation: what are you talking about?

"…Should we call animal control? It could have rabies or something."

"Hey, where's Octavian?" Pause. "Maybe it ate him!"

The first legion cheered.

"Woof woof." Translation: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? I'M RIGHT HERE. And hey, Joe, that's hurtful.

"Maybe we should complain to the praetors and get them to do something about it."

A bunch of yes's went up from the crowd. It was rather loud. Octavian went on his stomach and covered his nose with his hands-er paws.

"Aw…"

"I'm going to get Reyna now… Maybe Percy just to be safe."

Meanwhile Reyna and Percy were giggling like little kids. Michel (not to be confused with Michelle) came up to them and told them there was a random dog in their building without a collar or any sort of identification. It was a golden retriever. They also noted that Octavian was missing. Michel admitted that he thought the mysterious dog ate Octavian.

Percy wondered how smart you have to be to be in the First legion.

But anyways, the only way they could 'think' of was getting a fishing net and trying to grab the 'dog'.

They'd already thought this through of course. It was going to be fun trying to catch Octavian in a net.

Octavian was still confused. Why was everything in black and white? Where did his opposable thumbs go and why was he so short?

The members of the first legion decided it was time to leave or something, but when Octavian tried to come too, the started running out the back exit. Then when he tried going out that door, he saw them close it in his face.

"Woof. Woof, woof." Translation: Where are all you guys going? Why did you shut the door on me?

He sat in front of the door and was planning on waiting for them to come back.

Then, he heard the front door open.

"Woof!" Translation: I knew you guys wouldn't just leave me here! You came back!

(Yes, one bark really meant that much.)

He dashed to the door to find Percy and Reyna. They both had nets. Okay, so maybe Octavian wasn't the smartest today, but the huge grins they had on their face told him those nets weren't going to be used to catch butterflies.

"Come here Octavian." Reyna muttered and lunged at him with the net.

Octavian translated that to: I'm going to catch you with this net now. You have three seconds to run.

And run he did.

Octavian dashed under a bed and waited for Reyna to run around the other side. He ran between her legs and hid behind someone's dresser.

"Where'd he go?" Percy asked.

Reyna looked under another bed. "I don't know… check behind a large object or something."

"No really?"

Reyna sent a glare.

Octavian was still confused. What the heck was going on? Why does Reyna have a net? Who trusted the Jackson idiot with a net to? He could injure someone with that thing. Even if it _is_ round. You never know…

Without thinking of it, Octavian 'spoke'.

"Woof…" Translation: this sucks…

"Found him!" Percy shouted with glee.

Percy swung the net. And missed.

"Percy!" Reyna screeched.

Octavian dashed in the other direction, Percy and Reyna on his tail. Pun intended. Then, Octavian had a brilliant idea. He ran quickly for a second, came to a halt, then turned sideways. Percy and Reyna didn't have time to stop. They awkwardly tried to grab onto each other for support and tripped over Octavian. Octavian whined a little in protest but at least he was better off than those other two.

Octavian walked happily of in the other direction, leaving the groaning praetors behind.

Lou Ellen sighed. She pushed a strand of now purple hair out of her face. "Really Percy? You can defeat Titans but you were defeated by a small, Golden Retriever?

Percy groaned and adjusted the pea bag that was resting on his eye. Reyna's elbow hurt. "It's not my fault a dog happens to be smarter than your average titan."

"He's a fully trained member of the first legion." Reyna added helpfully. She winced as she moved her ribs. Definitely a bruise there.

"Sure sure." Lou Ellen said with a wave of her hand. "I still can't believe I wasted a spell on this."

"It's not our fault he tripped us Lou."

Lou Ellen glared. "Don't call me that."

"Fine."

Reyna smiled at the Iris message Lou Ellen, "can you please reverse the spell now? People might notice the absence of our attempting evil overlord."

Lou Ellen shrugged. "Sure. In twenty minutes you will probably have your normal Octavian back. There might be some side effects though. If he's still a dog by tomorrow give me a call, kay?"

**~Later that night~**

Octavian was back in his normal body. He couldn't decide if yesterday was some freak accident or a dream. If it was a dream, it had a huge effect on his life. Alex caught him trying to scratch behind his ear with his foot… It was an awkward conversation to say the least.

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><p><strong>Do you guys like it when I have it from Octavian's point of view? Or would you rather have it from the other people (really too lazy to type out all their names, you're lucky I even finished this chapter.)<strong>

**Does anyone actually read what I have to say?**

**I feel like I need to tell you guys to review. Partly because today, March 2ed, is my birthday. And it sucked. I got detention for reading in class. Stupid science teacher… I tried to explain that it was my birthday but he didn't seem to give a f- I mean… *looks for suitable replacement word* damn…?**

**Anyways, review. Please. It might cheer me up. (My birthday's always suck)**


	11. Eleventh way

**I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I have this whole schedule for this story and by now I must be at least six chapters behind. Or something like that, I don't have it on me right now. When I wrote it I didn't realize how long I was actually going to be away for on the March break and now the whole thing is messed up. I'm going to try and write a whole bunch of chapters tonight [I'M FINALLY BACK IN MY COMFY CHAIR, AWESOME WRITING HERE I COME!]. But anyways, I'm really behind so I'm going to try and write a few and maybe if-**_**if**_**you're lucky this week you'll get a few others. Then I'll be back on track and this story will be done in May.**

**Uh okay, wow, 94 favs and 101-you read that right,**_**101**_**story alerts. Wow, wow, wow. Thank you guys so much.**

**Also, thanks to Bell (not her real name but her pen name is 'Darknesse Sidhe'. You should check her out.) She puts up with me and lately I haven't even been sending her stuff because I'm a horrible updater and I just want to put things up. But thanks Bell. You're awesome.**

**It's funny because I wrote the poem and first chapters before the March break and when I finished writing my A/N, my hands were warmed up and everything and I was totally ready to write, then I went to the last line and couldn't remember where I was going with this chapter. I didn't even remember what it was about. I had to go look through my notes to find it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO because I am not a forty-some year old man. Nor do I want to be a forty-some year old man. That would be weird.**

**11: Girls and their clothes…**

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><p><em>Roses are red,<em>

_Violets are blue_

_I really suck at rhyming_

_Go to the temple at 10, will you?_

_Xoxoxo_

_Your secret admirer ;)_

Octavian stared at the note. It could be possible the note was another fake. I mean _two_people suddenly liking him? Yeah, probably a fake. But it _could_be real. What if he stood up his secret admirer and she didn't like him anymore? That would be horrible! He would die alone! ALOOOOOONE …!

Even Octavian didn't want to die alone.

That would be sad … The people of the underworld would probably laugh at him. : (

Octavian sighed; he may as well check it out. It would also be late at night so no one else would see. Unless they wanted to meet up at ten the next day, but that seemed unlikely. Besides, how could it hurt?

"Percy?"

"Yes Annabeth?"

"You know that squishy thing you're stepping on?"

"No comment on how wrong that sounded, but yes?"

"That's my foot."

"And your point is?"

"You have three seconds before I forcibly remove your foot from my foot. And if I have to move it you'll have to walk to go get it back after."

"I don't get it…"

Piper rolled her eyes at the two, crossing her arms. "I think she means if you value the gift of having your foot attached to your leg, you'll move it."

"Oh." Percy moved his foot, grumbling about how he'd known that, and how he wasn't afraid of the small daughter of Athena. Annabeth's smug look didn't help. Meanwhile, Piper was muttering about how immature the two heroes – both whom were older than her, by the way - could be.

"And we are done!" Leo announced as he came in from another room with Frank at his tail.

Leo had spent the last thirty-five minutes creating a letter made up little newspaper words. And then he had printed somethings out. Now, he was ready to put it in an envelope and put it in Octavian's room. Then, the real prank could begin.

Octavian was mildly disappointed when no one actually showed at the temple. They did leave a letter behind though.

It said;

_Roses are red._

_Violets are blue,_

_Sorry,_

_I couldn't meet up with you_

_Xoxoxo_

_Your secret admirer :(_

Octavian stared at the note with a bit of regret. '_Besides,'_he told himself in a slightly failed effort to reassure himself, '_it's better than it being a trap…'_

When he arrived back at his barrack he found a giant brown envelope waiting on his bed. Inside was a letter.

_Octavian,_

_We decided that you would look better as a girl_

_Tomorrow morning you will find a package of girls clothing which you will put on and wear all day_

_We also too the liberty of hiding all of your normal cloths._

_You're welcome._

_As a bonus, if you don't we will circulate the photo you can find in the bottom of the envelope._

_Either you wear the cloths or we place the hundreds of copies we made around the city._

_Choose wisely._

_Anonymous_

Octavian stared at the envelope with pure hatred. It better not be his fifth grade school picture, or his mother would have it coming. She was supposed to have burned that dang thing! Instead, the photo inside made him scratch his head. He had no idea when it was actually taken, but it was indeed him. It's not that the picture wasn't embarrassing, because boy, it was, it's just- wait. No, he remembered now.

That time he woke up in his bed wearing nothing but his ducky boxers… Oh gods… _They_ had been there. The photo was of Octavian in the previously mentioned ducky boxers. Since he wasn't wearing a shirt, you could see how skinny he really was, which wouldn't be good for his reputation. (Because, damn it, he was freaking SKINNY. And pale. Girls don't like that.) And, he was drooling. Well, it could have been snot… Let's just go with drool and not contemplate other ideas…

Octavian winced and angrily wondered why he was even in this situation in the first place. It wasn't fair! Maybe if he didn't try to take over the city he could be normal and have a job delivering pizza or something. Mmm… Pizza. He could go for some pizza. (Maybe it would make him less skinny.) Before his thoughts could stray anymore, Octavian forced himself into bed and went to sleep, hoping he could stay that way forever.

The next morning, Octavian woke up with a box on his face. Inside where a whole bunch of clothes. And a bag of makeup. So not fair! They hadn't said anything about wearing makeup!

Octavian grumbled and made his way to the bathroom to put on the 'clothes'. And the makeup. Oh sad makeup.

The first thing he found was a bra. Not cool… He put his arms through the straps and tried to hook it up. How the Hade did girls do this, anyways! He took the bra off his arms and tried to get the hooks to go together. Finally, he was able to get both the hooks together then he slipped it on over his head. Ignoring the fact that the cups were way too big for his non-existent boobs (he was really skinny), he reached into the box again.

The next _thing_ was neon pink and reminded him of a strip of paper that someone taped both ends together. There was a tag on it. It said 'Bandeau'. What the heck is a bandeau? He decided to put on foot through it, then the other. It was obvious it didn't fit on his legs so he pulled it up to his thighs. Nope, not there either. Eventually he figured out it went over his bra, which still was too big.

The next thing he grabbed was a shirt. Easy enough. He noted that it was practically see-through. Ohhh… That's what the bandeau was for. To stop people from seeing his bra… After that he pulled on a very short pair of shorts…. The last thing in the box besides the makeup was a very uncomfortable-looking pair of shoes. They were sandals that were full of straps, looping around the top flat of his foot and about his ankle. After five attempts, he was finally able to put them on the right way and fasten them on the right way.

Girls… How did they do this every day?

The last thing to do, unfortunately, was to put on the makeup. The only thing he recognized was the mascara, which he poked himself in the eye with.

Octavian looked at the note in his hand. Then he looked back to the guy who handed it to him.

"Call me some time okay?" The guy said with a wink, and then he walked back to his laughing friends.

Late on at dinner, as soon as Octavian walked in, the whole place went silent. He walked to his table and sat down.

"Uh, Octavian-"

"Don't." He growled.

That's when the laughter started.

_Octavian,_ then note said the next morning

_We thought you made a lovely girl_

_But, we felt that those pictures were just too good not to share._

_We taped them up all over the city_

_You're welcome._

_Anonymous_

"Octavian, what the Pluto is this?" Alex laughed while shoving a copy of the picture in his face.

Great... And did he mention they actually stole all his clothes?

Meanwhile, on the Argo II, the children of the prophecy were laughing.

"Did… Did you see his face when that guy gave him his phone number?" Leo asked unevenly, still a bit hysterical even as he wiped a tear of mirth from his eye.

"Yeah. I bet that Octavian's scarred for life or something," Frank responded with a slightly disturbing grin.

"I was surprised about how long it took him to figure out the girl's clothes. It took him like what, thirty minutes?" Piper wondered.

Leo snorted, "Like it takes you less time."

Without changing her neutral facial expression or turning to look at him, Piper hit him hard on the head.

"Okay, break it up you two," Jason ordered.

Hazel looked around and said, "Hey, where's Reyna?"

This time Annabeth spoke up. "I think she's calming Octavian down. He almost started a food fight."

"Why do I have the feeling Percy had something to do with that?" a familiar, strong female voice asked from the door way.

"I did not-wait." Percy turned and looked at the girl in the door way. "Thalia?"

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><p><strong>I saw the Hunger Games today (two days ago now, I wrote this on Friday). I was impressed. What do you guys think about it?<strong>

**Remember how a while ago I mentioned I would switch up the contest (your entry could count as chapter 24 or another chapter if you like)? I feel like doing it now. The only rule: I must contain the word 'Banana' in it. Basically, what you have to do is come up with a completely hilarious idea for a chapter. It could be crack-ish if you want. And 'Banana' doesn't have to be the main idea. Octavian could just be eating a banana when they prank him or something. Or they could start a flash mob while singing the 'Narwhal song', as long as 'Banana' comes up in there at one point. Just please make sure it's really funny. If it doesn't have 'Banana' in it, it won't count.**

**And don't ask why I picked 'Banana'. It's one of my most frequently said words.**

**Let the games begin.**

**Review this really bad chapter?**

**WAIT! Does anyone know why when I update my story I get an email...? It's really annoying.**


	12. Twelfth way

**I know this is really short, but I've kind always wanted to do this to somebody. Anyways, enjoy. I'm just trying to catch up to schedule.**

**There's foreshadowing so don't complain, it'll make more sense future chapters. But yeah… It's mostly filler… If that make sense. This chapter sucks in my opinion. I need to right something funny soon!**

**IGNORE HOW STRANGLEY WORDED IT MAY BE. READ THE BOTTOM AN AND UNDERSTAND. Don't complain.**

**When I message my replies to you guys, do you guys understand my sarcasm…? Just wondering… Like if you say '**I can't stop laughing!' **and I reply with this **'I suggest you stop laughing at one point. It's bad for your health...'**You understand I'm trying to make a joke right?**

**Disclaimer: The meaning to life is hidden in the terms and conditions. And I still don't own PJO…Or do I own my soul. 9gag has it and refuses to give it back.**

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><p><strong>12: Confetti malfunctions.<strong>

Barely into the middle of June but it was still a dark and cold and dark day in New Rome. And before you say 'Oh, don't evil people like the dark and stuff?' they might not.

Actually, Octavian wasn't enjoying it. Being of the legacy of Apollo, the sun god, he enjoyed the sun. He was planning on spending his day in bed and stuff but you know…There was evil to do.

Now people were still treating strange for the time he dressed as a girl. He figured spending his day curled in a ball in his bed wouldn't really help out their thoughts on his sanity. And although he wasn't sure whether or not he was beginning to lose it or not – sanity was important!

And just then, there was a loud clap of thunder. The whole building shook and a shiveringOctavian considered hiding under his bed. Ever since he was a little kid, he'd been afraid of lightning, which usually came along with thunder. The lightning part may have to do with being a descendant of Apollo, since Apollo probably did get in trouble a lot…

Not including impaling Gwen, trying to become the praetor, manipulating people with words, making weird prophecies (some which he admittedly made up whenever he was seriously annoyed with someone; mental note to self, do that to Percy), and cutting up teddy bears, blah-blah-blah, he'd never been much of a big trouble maker, but now he had an excuse at last.

As of now a heavy patter of rain could be heard from outside. Stupid rain… Octavian sighed. Not. His. Day.

So then he took a glance at his window and winced. It was pouring. Thankfully, the cafeteria was within mad-dashing range. He found his umbrella just in case, and set it in view of his bed. Then, he opened the front door and ran.

Right after finishing his bowl of cheerios (ironic, huh? Get it, _cheer_ios?), Octavian sat in his seat uncomfortably. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. He headed back to the barracks to change his now soaked shirt. He was too lazy to dry his hair. That's what the air is for. He considered going to bed now…

Oh no, he should go to the temple and sacrifice something fluffy. That always made him feel better. He dug out his toga and his (now cleansed from the butt incident) ceremonial knife. He also grabbed his umbrella so he wouldn't get wetter, and headed toward the door.

'Course Octavian was always a bit superstitious, so he refused to open his umbrella until he was outside. As soon as the umbrella was over his head, out fell thousands of tiny pieces of paper known as confetti. All of which, stuck to his wet head.

"Karma sucks." He said aloud. His eyes were twitching spasmically. (EYE SPASM EYE SPASM EYE SPASM ALERT!) Without another word, Octavian dropped the umbrella, not really caring where it ended up, walked back inside, put his toga away and shoved his knife back under his bed. Then, he went to sleep in the fetal position.

Yeah, like he was ever aloud peace full sleep, then Mike came in screaming about how his shoes were now covered in confetti. Octavian may have flipped him the bird… Not a real bird, that would be strange. He could actually picture people trying to flip birds… Oh great, the random thoughts again.

As stated before, not. His. Day. At all.

!

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><p><strong>Now, go read the first letter in ever paragraph.<strong>

**Got what it says? You wouldn't believe how hard it was… I wrote it then decided to make it say a message so I had to rearrange everything…**

**That's why it might not make much sense… Sorry :)**

**Can we make it to… Hmm… Let's say 280 reviews? I know it's a big jump but it would make me happy :)**


	13. Hey you, read this

**Due to the fact that my writing is horrible I'm shutting down this story. **

**Seriously, it's a horrible story. I know, you guys are going to be all like 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE THIS STORY TOO MUCH!' and stuff but to bad I've already made up my mind. **

**Too bad for you. Go wallow in self-pity.**

**No force on this earth will make me change my mind. Unless someone can give me Logan Lerman… I could go for some Logan Lerman… Or that grade twelve at my school named Damian. God he's hot…**

**Yeah, have fun doing that. **

**But anyways, now that I've stopped drooling, I would like to thank you all for your support and all your lies (EX: 'THIS STORY IS SO FUNNY AND AMAZING'). They really did make me feel better about myself. **

**So, yeah, thanks.**

**Special thanks to Bell, my beta. **

**I guess this is good bye… Again thanks. **

**-Empty Thoughts.**

**PS. Bye…**

**PSS. Happy April Fool's day :P**

* * *

><p><strong>BEFORE YOU GUYS FREAK OUT, I'M NOT ACTUALLY STOPING.<strong>

**How many of you guys actually fell for that? :P Don't worry, I'm not actually discontinuing this. **

**I would like to apologise for getting you guys all excited… You thought you were getting a new chapter didn't you :P **

**You should have known better. I can't update that fast… I'm too lazy.**

**I'll remove this next time I update.**

**PSS. I'm sorry :P**


	14. Thirteenth way

**It's **_**that**_** time of the year, when all my teachers come together and put as many tests as they can give in one week. Sorry about not updating.**

**Plus, my laptop crashed when I was going to finish this and I had no idea how to fix it and I couldn't find my dad. Worst ten hours of my life… And, I don't know if I mentioned this but a while back for my birthday I got a keyboard (like a piano keyboard) and I've been obsessively playing it. I love it so much. I've wanted to learn how to play for years.**

**In other news my beta and I finally started going through the contest submission things and she asked 'Why do almost all of them have to do with teddy bears?' I wondered the same thing.**

**So our question for you is, are you guys all obsessed with teddy bears or what?**

**Speaking of betas, I heard from someone my beta knows that she couldn't beta right now… I'm not exactly sure what's going on but I feel so bad about not updating this is going to remain unbetaed. For now. And you might have realized by now I have a hard time finding my own mistakes. I apologize in advance.**

**My mom made cookies :D**

**Awesome moment when you start listening to music then you find songs you didn't even remember downloading. Awesome- er moment when it's a good song.**

**Disclaimer: I live in Canada... That should be enough proof. Speaking of Canada, it might snow tonight. WTF MOTHER NATURE?**

* * *

><p><strong>13: How to feel microwaved<strong>

It started again early in the morning. The feeling of eyes penetrating his back had bothered yesterday too when he was eating his Cheerios. Only yesterday he couldn't figure out who it was that was staring at him.

He was really starting to get freaked out.

Now, back at his table, eating his Cheerios for the second day in a row, he could feel the staring again. It gave him the shivers.

He glanced down at his Cheerios. There were only a few left but it took a lot of coordination to get the little suckers onto your spoon. He had sympathy for toddlers.

He was finally able to load all the Cheerios onto his spoon and shove it in his mouth. He left his bowl on the table- the nature sprit things would clear it for him- and went to go find something to do.

He ended up in Jupiter's temple. He was sure that no one would follow him here, since you know, the lightning and stuff.

But, like always, he was wrong again.

He could sense someone staring at him, so he turned around. At the foot of the stairs stood a girl about sixteen with piercing blue eyes and short black hair. She was staring at him. Octavian frowned then turned around to find a new stuffed animal to murder.

Wait, was the girl the person who kept staring at him?

He turned around. She was gone. Octavian ignored the strange feeling on the back of his neck and went back to playing with his stuffies.

* * *

><p><strong>THIS LINE WISHES IT WAS A <strong>**DINOSAUR**

* * *

><p>Later, it was lunch. Octavian's least liked meal of the day. He was eating an ordinary ham sandwich. Yuck. Who actually likes ham? Especially if it's in a sandwich. Just yuck.<p>

He put the remainder of the horrible sandwich on his plate and looked around. Percy Jackson's table was normal, still obnoxious, and all the other tabled appeared to be the same. Obnoxious. Was Octavian the only normal person in this place? He continued to look around at the tables. There was the weirdo table with the freaks from the third cohort, the practically silent table with the annoying tryhards from the second cohort and then there was the one empty table. Wait, there _was_ someone on it.

Just one measly person, whose glare was directed at Octavian. Then Octavian realized it was the freak who was staring at him this morning.

'_Well, two can play at this game.'_ Octavian thought. He glared back at the girl thinking that she'd eventually look away. She didn't. The two stared at each other for at least five minutes before someone shoved Octavian's head into the remainder of his sandwich. He was going to turn around and yell and the person but he turned around and was face to face with pure, rock hard torso.

"You got sandwich on my shirt, twig."

Oh gods, it was _this_ guy again.

"Sorry. It happens when someone shoves my face into my plate." Octavian grumbled, trying to get some of the crumbs off.

The Wall hesitated for a moment. "Were you mouthing off to me?"

"No, I wasn't." Octavian said quickly.

The Wall glared down at him. Octavian saw his tiny mind try to figure out if he was lying or not.

"You better not have been." The Wall finally said. "Why do you have a sandwich on your face?"

"I was eating a sandwich then you pushed my face into it."

"Are you trying to blame me for getting sandwich stuff on my shirt?" The Wall asked Octavian.

"Well, you did cause this."

The Wall paused for a minute. He seemed to be deciding what to do next. Before Octavian even knew what was going on, he was being lifted over The Walls shoulder. Then he was in a garbage can.

All conversations stopped.

"Is this going to become a reoccurring thing?" He glared up at The Wall.

The Wall shrugged. "If you want it to be." Then he stalked off.

Percy Jackson's table started laughing, and Octavian noticed the girl was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>THIS LINE DOES TOO<strong>

* * *

><p>After de-sandwiching himself, Octavian went for a walk in New Rome. You think by now he'd stop going for walks. Something bad always happened when he was out and about in the city. He still flinched at the sight of a skittle.<p>

Octavian stopped inside a smoothie shop so he could get a strawberry smoothie, which was his favourite vegetable, and right before he paid for it he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned around and right across the street was that girl.

He ran out of the store, unpaid smoothie in hand.

"What is your problem?" He yelled at her. "Stop staring at me."

"Okay, dude," Alex came up from behind him (this guy is _everywhere _for some reason…), and then blocked his view of the girl. "I know you've got this whole 'Oh I hate the world and everyone in it' thing going on, but pick on somebody your own size and age. You're like, what, almost nineteen and your yelling at this small girl, sure she looks rather deadly but that's messed up. Leave her alone. And you better pay for that smoothie. If you don't it's going to have to come out of someone's pay check. That's not nice."

'_I hate the world and everyone in it? Since when?' _Octavian thought. '_I like some people… Like my mom. She makes good cookies.'_

"She's been stalking me all day." Octavian protested. "And I was planning on paying…"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Sure you were."

* * *

><p><strong>THIS LINE'S A HIPSTER, IT WANTS TO BE A UNICORN BEFORE THE OTHER LINES<strong>

* * *

><p>At dinner, the girl was sitting at her abnormally empty table again. And, no surprise here, she was glaring at Octavian. Octavian stood up and walked towards her table.<p>

"Seriously, what's your problem? STOP. STARING. AT. ME." He yelled, then ignored the people staring at him.

The girl didn't reply.

"Octavian," Jason stood up from his table. "I wouldn't do that if I were you…"

Octavian turned to face Jason. "Do what? I can do whatever I want-"

He felt someone's hand connect with his side. There was a horrifying loud ZAP and Octavian flew back at least three feet. His mouth tasted like metal. He looked down at his shirt which was now charred black. Octavian looked up at the girl. She smirked.

"Told you." Jason said to Octavian. "Meet Thalia, my sister."

And that, dear readers, was the end of that.

* * *

><p><strong>NOW THIS LINE WANTS TO BE A UNICORN TOO<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>I finished! That took a horrifyingly long time. I think I had a bad case of writes block, which would explain why the last few chapters sucked.<strong>

**BUT, I have the most amazing idea for the next chapter. There's so many possibilities *rubs hands creepily***

**(I copy and pasted this from chapter 11) ****Remember how a while ago I mentioned I would switch up the contest (your entry could count as chapter 24 or another chapter if you like)? I feel like doing it now. The only rule: I must contain the word 'Banana' in it. Basically, what you have to do is come up with a completely hilarious idea for a chapter. It could be crack-ish if you want. And 'Banana' doesn't have to be the main idea. Octavian could just be eating a banana when they prank him or something. Or they could start a flash mob while singing the 'Narwhal song', as long as 'Banana' comes up in there at one point. Just please make sure it's really funny. If it doesn't have 'Banana' in it, it won't count.**

**And don't ask why I picked 'Banana'. It's one of my most frequently said words.**

**I also realize, while looking at chapter 11 there was formatting errors. Screw you too, FanFiction.**

**I also realized I said I would delete chapter 13, but then I remembered that if I delete the April Fools prank you won't be able to review the chapter 13 again chapter and with the chapter before this gone, this would become chapter 13. I can't have that; I want to hear your opinions.**

**Due to the fact I'm drowning in emails I will only start replying to emails that interest me. If you write 'Lol dude, funny.' or I can't understand a word you are saying, I'm not going to reply to you. But if your review intrigues me, I just might. Thanks for understanding.**

**Two more things before I finish up, after this of course.**

**Completely out of context, how many of you are obsessed with One Direction? Am I the only teenage girl who isn't obsessed with any one of them?**

**And last but not least, if you are the 346****th****, 350****th****, 354****th****, 358****th**** or the 360****th**** reviewer, you will get six words to sum up the next chapter. It will go in order of how I get them through email, I don't care if you think you're one of the winners, if you aren't, you aren't. Let the reviewing begin.**


	15. Fourteenth way

**I'd like to congratulate the people who realized a strawberry isn't a vegetable. I'd like to declare the rest of you stupid. No offence.**

'Octavian stopped inside a smoothie shop so he could get a strawberry smoothie, which was his favourite vegetable, and right before he paid for it he saw something out of the corner of his eye.**'**

**If you still don't get it, read it again.**

**To the people of San Francisco: Do you people have ducks? I've never been there and I don't know if ducks go there or not. I feel stupid now…**

**Over 20,000 views! OMG GUYZ. Lol fail spelling… And over 400 reviews :D I love you all :3**

**Disclaimer: I bet Rick Riordan doesn't have to beg his mommy for two dollars to buy a chocolate milkshake. I do, so therefor****e****I must not be Rick Riordan.**

* * *

><p><strong>14. Who needs<strong>**evil****monkeys in their closet when you're being stalked by a ninja duck?**

"Okay people," Leo said to the group of demigods who were in their secret meeting place, which is so secretive I'm not allowed to tell you about it, or where it is,. "We need ideas."

"Uh…Okay I got one. It involves TNT, feathers, honey, a can of neon green spray paint and a fake moustache," Jason said. He was looking at the sky and stroking his non-existent beard in a very thoughtful, sage-like way.

"NO!" everyone except for Leo and Jasonyelled at the same time.

"No more explosives, high-powered or not." Annabeth said firmly. Leo sighed in disappointment.

Thalia frowned quizzically, the look in her eyes suspicious. "Leo, what did you do to my brother…?"

Leo only laughed manically.

A few more ideas floated around until Thalia came up with something. "Why don't I use the Mist to make it look like a duck is following Octavian around everywhere?"

"What's the point of doing that?" Leo asked.

"I get it," Percy said. "He can be the only one who sees it and everyone will think he's insane. That's brilliant Thalia."

"Why a duck? Why not a polar bear or something else -like a flamingo?" Jason asked.

Thalia shrugged. "I don't know. I think a duck would seem a bit more insane than a flamingo. I mean, this is California, soI think it would be stranger to see a duck than a flamingo. And if a polar bear was here it would probably die of the heat, lack of food, and et cetera."

"Really?" Piper said sarcastically. Thalia sent her a half-hearted glare.

Hazel looked thoughtful. "Maybe we shouldn't tell Reyna of our plans. Don't you think it would be funnier if she thought he was really insane?"

"Sure, why not?" Leo shrugged. "Smart thinking, Hazel."

Hazel blushed.

"Well," Percy announced, "I think we're done here so I'm just going to leave…"

He pulled Annabeth along with him; no doubt they were going to find a secluded place to make out intensely. Eventually the rest of the group walked off, leaving Piper and Jason alone. No one was talking until Piper got a strange look on her face, like she was finally realizing something.

"Since when was Leo in charge of the meetings?" Piper frowned.

Jason shrugged. "I have no clue…"

* * *

><p><strong>I CAN COUNT TO POTATO.<strong>

* * *

><p>"<em>Quack."<em> Octavian frowned. A duck… in New Rome…? He went back to his book.

"_Quack."_He continued to ignore the duck.

"_QUACK!"_His eye twitched. He mumbled something non-suitable for children about the duck under his breath. He took the advice his counsellor gave him:_"Take a deep breath and try to relax. Don't stab whatever's bothering you."_

It's a good thing he didn't bring his knife to that stupid session… Stupid anger management, and damn the obnoxiously optimistic counsellor too.

"_QUACK!"_Octavian looked up from his book. A duck - he couldn't remember what species of duck it was - stood a few feet away. It was one of those ducks with the green heads.

Mayonnaise…? Mamma Mia - wait that was an ABBA song. Mallard…? Yes that was it! A Mallard duck was sitting only a few feet away. It was staring right at him. It quacked againand flapped its wings in an agitated manner.

Octavian looked down at the book on his lap, then back up at the bird. The next thing he knew his book was flying through the air towards the duck. The dang thing didn't even flinch.

He stood up and stalked away angrily. Stupid ducks.

* * *

><p><strong>DREW AND LACY MADE A CAMEO IN THE SERPENTS SHADOW. PAGE 82. JUST SAYIN'<strong>

* * *

><p>Trees had this bad habit of dropping things on people. Look at the Newt guy. Wait, wasn't it Newton…? Something about being a sir… Anyway, a tree dropped an apple on the Newt guy's head, and then he discovered gravity or something. Octavian read this story once where a guy was sitting under a tree and this girl fell out of a tree and then they ended up living happily ever after. No, Octavian doesn't read romance novels… It was an accidental situation where he was caught in a bad position!<p>

Great… now he forgot where he was going with that whole idea. Or at least he had forgotten until the tree he was sitting under dropped a duck on him. Why there was a duck in the tree, who knows. Everyone knows ducks can't climb trees, or even stay in them. He guessed no one told the duck that because it ended up falling out anyways. Maybe it had flown there?

What was with all the ducks in New Rome all of the sudden?

The duck landed on his head with a "_QUACK!"_

It hopped off and walked a few feet away where it stayed, silently watching him. Octavian rubbed his head.

"Go away you stupid duck," he told it. The duck ignored him.

Octavian waited a few more seconds before repeating what he had said. Then when the duck ignored him, andOctavian went to find somewhere else to sit.

* * *

><p><strong>SORRY IF THE LINE SPOILED SOMETHING FOR YOU BACK UP THERE. OPPS…<strong>

* * *

><p>Octavian went to the bathroom, and from inside the stall beside him he heard- "<em>QUACK!"<em>

Then there was a tingling sensation in his ankle.

"Ow." He frowned. That hurt. He leaned down and peeked under the next stall. It took him a second to realize what was in front of him.

"_Quack__,__"_the duck said. It leaned down to peer at Octavian's face. There were a few moments of silence as the duck peered into Octavian's eyes. It must have not liked what it had seen because it decided to bite Octavian again, this time on the nose.

Octavian made a sound that resembled the sounds of a three year old girl squealing, and then he picked up his pants as fast as he could and ran out of the bathroom.

* * *

><p><strong>THIS LINE ISN'T SMART ENOUGH TO COUNT TO POTATO… IT CAN ONLY COUNT TO 5<strong>

* * *

><p>It was the closest thing Frank and Hazel had ever had to a date. They bought each other muffins and sat on the side of the street, out of the way of Hannibal and other hazards, and were enjoying themselves. Frank would say something and then would think it was stupid and blushed, and then Hazel would think it was cute and then she'd blush as well.<p>

Hazel took a bite out of her chocolate chip muffin- her favourite- and looked around at the wonders of New Rome. It amazed her how the old and the new melded together to make one beautiful city.

At that exact moment, Octavian came running out of the nearest bathroom, still squealing. His boxers, this time they were shamrocks, were flashing inconveniently and his pants weren't pulled up all the way so you could see the very top of his butt. He ran past Hazel at top speed. Some of the people on the side of the street looked at Octavian like he was insane, which he may have been, then when they saw his butt, their faces scrunched up and they looked away with expressions of contorted horror.

Hazel's face was calm as she set her muffin down. "No offence Frank, but that kind of ruined the mood. I'm not very hungry anymore…"

Frank looked down at his milk-free muffin. He set it down as well. "How much do you want to bet that was our duck's fault?"

Hazel looked at the direction Octavian ran off in. "Anything. That was definitely caused by the duck."

The two separated regretfully, the romantic mood ruined by the butt.

* * *

><p><strong>WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BUTTS…?<strong>

* * *

><p>Octavian had befriended the duck. He named it Wyatt, which means little warrior in some strange language…How true.<p>

Octavian and Wyatt made some sort of understanding, Octavian would give a piece of a French fry, and Wyatt would stop biting him. It took a while to finally come to that, but it was worth it.

Wyatt made excellent company.

* * *

><p><strong>THIS LINE IS SEXY AND IT KNOWS IT<strong>

* * *

><p>Reyna had the day off. There were no emergencies that required her attention, Octavian was probably out murdering some child's poor stuffed animal, but at least he wasn't bothering her. And, her newly acquired friends who liked bothering Octavian didn't have anything planned for the day.<p>

Finally, peace at last.

Then she saw Octavian walking in her general direction. He was staring at the ground. As he approached she noted he was talking. But to whom?

"-And then I said 'OH NO YOU DIDN'T,' and she was all like 'MMMMMHHHHHMMMM, yeah, I went there.' Hey, it's not my fault okay. Stop looking at me like that. I said stop. OW, MY FOOT." Octavian jumped around on one foot while massaging the other.

Reyna looked around for the person Octavian was talking with. She soon realized he was alone.

"Uh, Octavian?" She called. He looked up. "Could you come here for a moment please?"

He started walking over. "What do you need Reyna? Can't you see I'm busy?"

Reyna narrowed her eyes. "Who are you talking to, Octavian?"

"Wyatt… Can't you see him? He's right here." Octavian pointed in the general direction of his feet. Reyna saw nothing.

"No… I don't see anyone," she told him slowly.

"How can you not see him? He's right there."

"I'm sorry Octavian, I don't see anyone." Octavian was going insane. Again. How lovely.

"Not who, what." Octavian paused for a moment. "Ow, Wyatt, that hurt. Anyway, Wyatt is my friend the duck."

How does one react to an insane person? Reyna didn't knowand merely blinked owlishly at him.

"I was told to bring you to the infirmary… One of your numerousaunts wants to talk to you," she lied smoothly. Octavian started walking and Reyna followed, completely silent. Octavian continued chat with his 'duck'.

When they arrived at the infirmary, Octavian went off in the search of one of his aunts (which one? Apollo has too many children) and Reyna told one of the staff members that Octavian had become insane and that he should be restrained.

The man she told smiled. He clearly wasn't one of Octavian supporters. "I've got a strait jacket with his name on it."

* * *

><p><strong>I'M RUNNING OUT OF CLEVER LINES!<strong>

* * *

><p>Maybe they did feel a bit bad about making the whole camp think Octavian was insane. No, actually, they didn't. It was too much fun to watch.<p>

Now, everyone was gathered. Well, everyone but Thalia. No one really knew where she went. But she wasn't ready to leave yet. She planned to stay a few more days to spend some time with her brother.

Reyna was a bit miffed that they didn't include her on their last prank, but she did have to admit, it was funnier since she had no idea what was going in.

"Guys, you know what I just realized?" Leo spoke suddenly.

Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Annabeth responded.

"We don't have a name!" Leo did some strange arm movement while he said that.

"Uh, I think we do. I'm Percy, remember? That's Hazel, that's Frank-"

"No, I meant as a group. We should be the Pranking Force Eight or something."

"That is the worst name ever," Jason told Leo.

"Like you could come up with anything better."

And that was how they argument over a name started.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello there people. My mission for you guys for the week(ish), is to find a good name for them to call themselves. You have until I update next, and who knows how long that may be. Hopefully a week. I've been thinking about it, and I can't think if a good name. Every group needs a name. Plus, you can only call them the pranksters so many times…<strong>

**So yeah, you have about a week to come up with an amazingly awesome name****. Leave it in a review, PM me, if your one of those people who have my email, email me. I don't care how I get it, just send me a name and if I love it it'll be what they call themselves.**

**In other news… (I wrote this A/N a while ago… When the first chapter came out… Keep that in mind)**

**KAY GUYS I'M FREAKING OUT. LEGIT. THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE MARK OF ATHENA WAS READ. OMFG I LISTENED TO IT. I'M FREAKING OUT.**

**LEGIT. FREAKING. OUT. HOLY- Ops sorry. No swearing from me.**

**OKAY IF YOU ARE STUCK UNDER A ROCK AND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD IT YET, GO HERE:**greenconverses .tumblr .com /post/22262664975/ rick-riordan-reads-the-first-chapter-of-mark-of **Remove the spaces. ****Or, go find CassJayTuck on YouTube. She has a really good video. You can hear everything.**

**I'M STILL FREAKING IT OUT. I'VE LISTENED TO IT SO MANY TIMES. OMG.**

**If any of you guys are interested, I made a website… I was amazingly bored. I haven't really asked anybody to join yet. But if you feel interested in joining or just feel like checking it out, send me a message or say so in your review and I'll send you the link.**

**In other**_**other**_**news; nothing. Not a single thing…**


	16. Fifteenth way

**Okay, I had this whole awesome A/N planned but I accidently deleted it. Here's the summary: I'm pulling a RR opening. I like cheeeese. Anon's can be a bit rude, but '**()**', I use a lot of commas. There's some like 804 commas or something. Point is, shush child. **

**And to whoever asked me if I ate chapter fourteen, no, but I bet if I did it would have tasted good. **

**Disclaimer: I bet RR could afford a Kindle. I can't afford a Kindle...**

**15. Pudding. That is all.**

Even before Octavian was kidnapped by the skittle people, he was having a bad day. He'd just been released from the infirmary after being held captive there for what felt like weeks, and then he found out Wyatt had disappeared.

Hopefully no one was eating duck soup. That would be depressing.

His aunt Syrena came and found tied up in a straight jack in a closet. She shook her head and untied him. Then she went on about how cute he was and how she could just hug him all day, and that's when he escaped the hug of death and ran away, only to be hit over the head with a shovel and dragged down an alley. His last thought was 'Why me?'

* * *

><p><strong>The door! <strong>The door! _The door?_ **The door!**

* * *

><p>"You know," Leo said as they pulled the unconscious body of Octavian down the path besides the baths. Some people gave them weird looks but they quickly looked away. "Percy was right for once. He <em>is<em> kind of heavy…"

"I feel stupid. Pink isn't my colour," Frank whined.

"Fuchsia," the girls corrected.

"Whatever," he replied.

"Green _still_ isn't my colour."

Percy looked farther down the road. "How much longer until we reach the pudding?"

"It's far in the Field of Mars. You can't see it from the entrance so we still have a while to walk," Hazel answered.

Then Frank and Jason dropped their end of Octavian and Leo dropped Octavian's head. (Well, he was pretty heavy.) "Oops."

Annabeth frowned. "That's going to leave a bruise."

"Can't we be charged with child abuse or something now?" Piper asked.

"He's older than he looks. He's around eighteen or something," Jason explained. "Besides, we have masks on."

When they finally arrived at the pudding, Piper was amazed at the size. It was a five and a half foot tall vat full of pudding. It was also a few feet across.

"Wow…" she said with her mouth agape. "Where'd you get all that pudding?"

Their eyes turned towards Leo who shrugged. "I didn't plan this."

Everyone frowned.

"Then who did…?" Annabeth asked.

"I know a guy." Everyone turned to Hazel who shrugged. "I just do okay?"

They heard a groan and something along the lines of, "meh… My head hurts. Can I have a sloths?"

Everyone let out a surprised laugh.

"Uh, what?" Sadly Octavian didn't explain.

Leo leaned over into Octavian's ear and yelled, "WHY DO YOU WANT SLOTHS?"

Octavian's eyes snapped open. "Sloths? Where?"

Piper glared at Leo through her annoyingly bright orange mask. "You idiot! You weren't supposed to wake him up yet."

Octavian finally seemed to realize that he wasn't in his bead and looked around with shock. Especially at the giant vat of pudding. "Where am I?"

"Narnia."

"The year 4564."

"The underworld."

"Your mom's fat folds."

Everyone stared at Leo who raised his hands in defence. "I was under pressure. You were all saying things and I couldn't come up with anything-"

"Just shut up." Annabeth deadpanned.

"I'm sorry we're not all geniuses-"

Before anyone could react, Annabeth grabbed Leo's arm and flipped him.

"WHAT THE HADES?"

"Sorry to interrupt your… squabble…. But who are you again?"

The bright yellow guy but his hands on his hips and the rest of the group followed his lead. "We," he paused for dramatic effect, "are G.R.O.S.S."

Octavian wrinkled his nose. "A little bit yes."

It took a minute for the demigod dresses in yellow to catch on. "No." He corrected, "G-R-O-S-S."

"I don't see the difference…"

"It's an acronym," Reyna explained with a sigh. Had Octavian always been this stupid?

Annabeth applauded. "At least someone else here is smart."

A group of'hey!'s arouse.

"But what does G.R.O.S.S stand for?" Octavian asked. "I mean, that is what an acronym is right?"

"Getting Rid of Octavian Super Squad." Jason said, tugging on his red shirt.

"That's oddly specific." Octavian frowned. He had his own removal squad…? Nice...?

"We know…" They seemed to glare at the boy in 'fuchsia.'

"Like you could have come up with anything better." He grumbled.

"So you just had to come up with gross?" Piper raised an eyebrow.

Everyone started talking at once until Hazel raised herself to her full height. "QUIET!"

"But arguing is fun…" Leo was flipped again.

"Can we just dump him in the pudding already?" Hazel asked.

"WHAT? NO!" Octavian protested.

Percy shrugged. "Sure."

Everyone started picking up Octavian. Leo accidently touched his butt, then awkwardly pulled his hand away. He not so discreetly wiped his hands on his pants (they were Jason's anyways.)

"Please don't-" But it was too late. Octavian was above the rim and they rolled him in. Pudding splashed onto their colourful outfits.

"Dang, this was dry-clean only…" Percy announced.

"Since when did you turn into a girl?" Annabeth asked.

"Since when did your comebacks start sucking so bad…?" Percy shot back, then he realized his comeback to her comeback sucked just as much.

Octavian stood up before another argument could surface. "IT'S UP MY NOSE!"

Everyone giggled (in the boys' case it was a manly giggle).

"IT BURNS. OH GODS IT BURNS. MY NOSE!" Octavian tried snorting out the pudding. Thankfully he had the decency to do it outside the pudding vat.

They watched him struggle for a minute before deciding to leave.

"Hey! Wait! I need help getting out-!" He put both hands on the ledge and tried to hoist himself out. But the pudding on his hands decided that that was too much of an easy escape, so he fell and smacked his forehead on it. "Ow…"

"Bye Octavian!" Reyna called cheerfully.

* * *

><p><strong>What is the door?<strong> The door is everything. _All that once was and all that will be._ **The door controls time and space.** Love and death!

* * *

><p>As the monster threw open the doors the people of the Twelfth Legion fumbled for their weapons. Some stared at it stupidly. Some wondered how it got in in the first place.<p>

The monster was tall, not giant tall, but tall enough to be taller than most of the younger members. Globs of its deep brown ooze fell to the floor.

"M-m-monster!" someone cried.

Then the monster itself-replied, "where?"

Everyone stared at the monster and questioned its intelligence.

"This monster's lame…" someone muttered, loudly enough for the monster to hear.

"I'm not a monster!" It shouted. "I'm Octavian."

Everyone started laughing.

Reyna stepped forward and peered at the boyish man-child person (…?). "What are you covered in?"

"Pudding."

"No way…" someone said in disbelief. They stuck out their hand and took a finger size glob of ooze off Octavian. Then they promptly shoved it in their mouth. "Yup, that's pudding."

"Ewww!" a few girls cried.

"How…" Reyna couldn't' finish her sentence.

"These people, they called themselves 'G.R.O.S.S', knocked me out and tossed my in this huge container full of pudding! Can you believe that?" Octavian wiped pudding out of his eye.

"Where's this pudding now?" the same boy who ate a glob of Octavian pudding asked.

"In the field of Mars-" Before he could finish said boy was out the door. Then almost all of the fifth cohort stood up and ran after him. Soon after pretty much no one was left, and all that could be heard was the shouts of "PUDDING!" and "ALL PRAISE G.R.O.S.S!"

"Well." Percy and his friends stood up. "I don't know about you but I'm in the mood for some pudding and skittles." To make matters worse Reyna left with them.

* * *

><p><strong>The door can see into your mind! <strong>The door can see into your soul. _Really, the door can do all that? _**Heh, no.**

* * *

><p><strong>~Later~<strong>

Octavian checked again. No one was here yet. No doubt they were all still eating the pudding. His eyes looked around once again. Then he slowly raised his hand to his face and started licking.

* * *

><p><strong>1. You like the chapter?<strong>

**2. I GOT SKYPE. SOMEONE WANT TO SKYPE WITH ME?**

**3. I made a cover. You likie? If you can make a better one let me know.**

**4. 500 REVIEWS. WHA... I love you all... I didn't think I would get this many :***

**5. SUP GUYS? YOU GONNA REVIEW WITH DAT BLUE BUTTON?**


	17. Sixteenth way

1. Hey look, it's me! The only thing I have to say is: Oops. Sorry. *Cheeky smile*

2. Due to the fact that I realized my Authors Notes are huge, I've decided to down scale them by making them into points. So ha. Ha. Ha.

3. I forgot who gave me this idea, but thanks :) You know who you are.

4. Everyone thank **Vote4EmmatheFuturePrez** for coming up with G.R.O.S.S (no, I didn't actually come up with it. I'm not _that_ good)

**Disclaimer: Jingle bells, Luke smells, and if I owned PJO he would have been hit by a bus. It's too early for Christmas songs…**

* * *

><p><strong>15. G.R.O.S.S Strikes Again!<strong>

[If you absolutely love these songs and you're offended by me writing about people hating them, please, save it for your diary, not my reviews…]

"AHMYGODS! MY FINGER! It's bleeding!" Leo practically threw his finger in Piper's face. "Help me!"

Piper grabbed his hand and brought it closed for inspection. "You didn't even break the skin."

The rest of the group shook their heads.

"Obviously we can't let Leo sew anymore because if he even pokes himself again he's going to start crying-" Annabeth was cut off.

"I resent that," Leo said, glaring at the daughter of Athena.

"—so, I think we should let someone else try." Annabeth looked everyone in the eyes. "Any volunteers?"

Everyone backed away saying various things from "I sprained my finger," to "I'm too pretty to sew things." (No one really knew how to reply to that.)

"Why don't you try, Annabeth?"

The glare she sent towards Jason was enough to make even the most BA bikers go crying to their mamas. He slowly backed up and hid behind Percy.

"I'm a strategist, not a seamstress," she explained. "Maybe Piper should give it a try, since it would be right up her mother's alley."

"Fine! Make me do everything," Piper grumbled. She violently grabbed the purple shirt off the table and the needle and thread from Leo's hand. "My gods Leo, you haven't even started yet!"

Leo grumbled something incoherent and Piper started working.

* * *

><p>After about five minutes and a few band aids for Leo, who Piper stabbed for being annoying, the shirt was done. You couldn't even see there were stitches sewn in there.<p>

Leo rubbed his band-aid covered arm. "I will never forgive you for this, Piper Mclean."

Piper laughed, "I don't really care Leo. It's your fault."

"You stabbed me! Multiple times!"

"You annoyed me. Multiple times," she retorted.

"But you didn't have to staaaaaab me!" he sang in the tune of Somebody That I Used to Know. In the background the group continued singing the song.

"You asked me if I was on my period. You don't ask a girl that, Leo," she grumbled.

"But I was right!" Leo exclaimed, and Piper stabbed him again. Leo sniffled and walked over to Jason. He opened his arms and wrapped Jason in a hug.

"What? Leo get off me!" Jason said, struggling to escape the hug.

Leo sniffled again. "She stabbed me again, Jason. Hold me."

Jason finally managed to push him off. "Did she also hit you over the head with a plank?"

"Not yet!" Piper announced in a sing-song voice.

The members of G.R.O.S.S heard a door slam. They didn't have time to hide. From the hallway they could hear items being dropped on the ground and then as a person walked through the door way, a scream.

Reyna drew her knife, and pointed it at them. She slowly lowered it after realizing she wasn't being robbed. "WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE!?"

"Well—"

Reyna pointed her knife at Leo, efficiently silencing him. "Shut it Valdez."

"Women these days…" Leo muttered as he walked off to the emo corner.

"I'll repeat, why are you in my house?" Reyna asked again.

Piper held up the shirt. "We got the next prank done!"

"Your next prank … is a t-shirt?" Reyna raised a delicate eyebrow.

"Yes," everyone said at once.

"Care to explain?"

* * *

><p>The first cohort was debating if they should let Octavian use a sword or not. After what had happened over the past few weeks, they questioned Octavian's mental stability. You weren't supposed to let insane people use pointy objects, right?<p>

So when Octavian came marching out with a sword, they were all worried for their safety.

He caught their eyes and said, "what?"

"Nothing!" Joseph answered quickly for everyone. "Let's get to practicing."

An hour later after an intense practice, majority of the group was sitting on the ground, panting and drinking as much water as they could. Octavian was staring at the clouds when someone near him started playing music.

_"Oh, my, God. Becky, look at her butt. It's so big. *Scoff* She looks like, one of those rap guys' girlfriends."_

Octavian stifled a laugh to find who's ringtone it was, but everyone else seemed to be looking around too, wondering who it was. No one looked embarrassed.

_"I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung—"_

Now, everyone was confused. It was too long to be a ringtone. Octavian was suddenly aware of how loud the music was, almost like it was coming from right beside him.

Then the song changed.

_"I hopped off the plane at L.A.X with a dream in my cardigan. Welcome to the land of fame excess, am I gonna fit in?"_

Octavian had a feeling something bad was going to happen. Others stood up and tried to track down the source, desperate for the torture to stop.

_"So I put my hands up! They're playing my song, and the butterflies fly away! I'm noddin' my head like yeah. I'm movin' my hips like yeah. I got my hands up, they're playin' my song, I know I'm gonna be OK! Yeah, it's a party in the USA! Yeah, it's a party in the USA!"_

Alex, who was just unfortunate enough to walk by, collapsed to his knees and covered his ears. "MAKE IT STOOOOOPPPP!"

Everyone agreed and even Octavian got up to help find the source. The song finally changed again, and Octavian was worried they would play _I'm Sexy and I know It_ eventually, and he'd be reminded of _that_ incident.

_"I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas please. Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me. Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start, and after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart."_

Someone started praying. "Please, mom, let it stop. I like having my ears intact. And my mind stable. And being able to hear."

_"Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face."_

And that's when Octavian got just a little too close to Mary. She tilted her head like she was confused then she slowly moved it to Octavian's arm. Before Octavian could ask what she was doing, she shouted the words that ruined his day.

"IT'S COMING FROM OCTAVIAN!"

His eyes widened in surprise, and as if on cue, the song changed.

_"You know you love me, I know you care. Just shout whenever, and I'll be there."_

Someone cried out in pain, and someone else shouted, "Traitor!"

"Get him!" the voice of a girl shouted, a strangely familiar voice.

And Octavian was graced with a new sensation: being dog piled on by the first cohort. Of course, the girls weren't exactly shy or pansies, so they got in there too, adding onto the weight.

"CAN'T. BREATHE!" Octavian huffed, hoping they'd get the subtle hint.

They didn't.

And the song shuffled that moment, to change into what could be possibly the worst song in the world.

_"Seven a.m., waking up in the morning, gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal."_

Now, members of the first cohort jumped off Octavian, one by one in a desperate attempt to get away from the horrid music.

"MAKE IT STOP!" someone wailed. Octavian agreed. At least the people could would get away…

"_It's Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday."_

And then the music stopped. Everyone looked around, and then after a pause, cheered. As they did Octavian's shirt seemed to melt right off his body and fall to the floor in a puddle. Then it changed colours to yellow.

The Fates must have been laughing their old hag-ish laugh as Reyna picked that exact moment to walk by. Her eyes widened.

"Octavian," she said, "go put a shirt on. No one finds that attractive." And then her eyes traveled to what used to be his shirt.

"It's not what it looks like," he tried to explain.

"… Just clean it up. You can discuss that with a doctor, or a therapist or something. If you need to I'm sure someone at the day care can potty train you."

Octavian felt like melting right beside his shirt.

* * *

><p>"—So she had Thomas in the one hand, right, and the snow suit in the other—" Percy said, holding his hands so it looked like he was about to do the Jazz Hands when the door burst open.<p>

"I'm back!" Thalia cried.

The members of G.R.O.S.S. pursed their lips as they looked at the daughter of Zeus. Then they exchanged looks.

"What?" Thalia asked, catching on to their glances.

"When did you leave?" Percy asked.

Thalia's eyes turned murderous. "I've been gone for eight days. Are you telling me _none_ of you guys noticed?"

They exchanged looks again.

"It would appear so," Reyna said.

"Even you, Annabeth?"

Said girl nodded.

"Even you, Jason?"

He hesitantly nodded.

Thalia frowned. "I hate you all."

Percy laughed and embraced his cousin in a half hug. "What else is new?"

* * *

><p><strong>5. Should I change the summary? If so, any suggestions?<strong>

**6. Apparently I have loyal followers. Say what?**

**7. I'll try to update soon…?**

**8. DEMIGOD DIARIES! **

**9. I have a new story… Anyone want to check it out?**

**10. I figured out the perfect ending for this story, and you're all going to hate me for it. I'm so excited now!**

**11. DEMIGOD DIARIES!**

**12. Anyone here heard of Robert Munsch? If you have, you'll get the reference I threw in there.**


	18. Seventeenth way

**Oh, if any lines aren't there it's because FanFiction hates me. Though I don't ****_think_**** there is any... I'M TIRED OKAY D:**

**Are you guys surprised I made it this far? I am too.**

* * *

><p><strong>17. A Classic<strong>

It was very cliché. So cliché that they almost considered not doing it, but it was a classic, and you can't go on a pranking spree without doing at least _one_ classic.

It was actually Reyna's idea so the group let her do the honours. To be honest, they were just all tired of staying up so late to prank Octavian.

It just wasn't worth it in the end. Sleeping trumped pranking.

But that was why Reyna and Jason were in Reyna's kitchen at five in the morning, testing the water. Not like swimming- testing the water, but they turned Reyna's sink up to as hot as it could go and were putting their hands in it.

They got it settled to a luke-warm temperature and decided it was good.

"Put your hand in it," Reyna commanded Jason.

He blinked. "What?"

"Do it!" she urged. He complied and stared at her, silently questioning her sanity.

"Does it make you want to go pee?"

Jason spluttered and pulled his hand out. "What kind of question was that?"

"Does it?" she pried.

"I dunno. I guess." Jason frowned.

Reyna narrowed her eyes. "If you wet yourself in my house… I will castrate you."

Jason raised his hands in surrender. "I'm not going to wet myself. Jeez."

"Sure, Jason. Sure."

Three minutes later they were in their skittle outfits standing outside the first cohort barracks. Reyna was giddy.

"Let's-go-let's-go-let's-go!" She said it all like one word then shoved Jason towards the door. He opened it silently and they navigated through the sleeping bodies until they found Octavian's bunk.

Reyna took the cup and as slowly and gently as she could she slid Octavian's hand into it.

"Is it working?" she whispered.

"Not yet, shut up," Jason whispered back.

Another minute later, Jason started giggling. "Oh my gods Reyna. Look."

She debated. Did she really want to look _there_? But she did and she started to giggle too.

There was an actual, legitimate stain. And it was growing. The cup bounced up and down as she laughed as quietly as she could.

"Oh my gods." She raised her unoccupied hand and covered her mouth.

They were both laughing hard and Octavian started to stir.

"We should go." Jason said, Reyna nodding in agreement. She removed Octavian's hand from her cup which she would later have to incinerate, and started silently walking quickly away.

Just as they were shutting the door they heard a quiet, "Oh gods."

Reyna let out a string of giggles as she smashed the cup. "Octavian wet his pants."

Jason laughed too.

* * *

><p><strong>1. Is it sad MOA will be out before this is finished?<strong>

**2. I have a tumblr… Go check that out it's on my profile. I have lots of cool things on my profile…**

**3. Peer-pressure sucks. My friends 'convinced' me to go camping with them. I leave on Friday(21) and won't be back until Sunday. I think. That is if I don't get lost in the forest.**

**4. School sucks. I managed to almost fail my first test of the year. Woot woot. Though I should be procrastinating more so expect random things from me to be uploaded. Yay random!**


	19. Eighteenth way

**Disclaimer: NOPE.**

**18. Duct Tape, Part II**

Staring at the duct tape, Jason was hit with déjà vu. The scene was from only a few weeks ago, when they had taped Octavian to a wall. They didn't stick around to see the aftermath.

Though this time, they weren't just pissing off the skinny blond boy, they were also bugging a god. No, they weren't suicidal, it just seemed like fun.

Yes, what they were about to do is classified under fun in their dictionary.

Jason's thoughts were interrupted by Annabeth. "I think he should be out cold by now…" she said, checking her watch.

"I'm not carrying him this time," Percy announced.

"If only Frank was here… He could be a literal pack mule," Leo said wistfully.

Jason looked around. "Where is everyone?"

"Hazel and Frank went off on a date or something, Thalia is planning the next prank and packing and Reyna is distracting," Annabeth rattled off.

Jason already knew about the distracting part. They drew straws to see who would get that job, and Reyna picked the shortest.

"It's kind of sad we're the only people not doing something…" Piper said. "I guess that makes us kind of lame."

Everyone silently agreed. But didn't pranking count as something?

"Shouldn't we, I don't know, start doing something instead of just standing here?" Leo asked. Jason was again, broken from his thoughts. He looked around and noticed that he wasn't the only one. Maybe Leo just had nothing going on up there and he felt left out.

Just like the pudding prank (he still couldn't believe Hazel came up with that...) Jason and Leo ended up carrying Octavian. Annabeth "supervised". (In other words, she stood there and happily did nothing.) Octavian was a lot heavier without Frank helping. Why hadn't they thought of the literal pack mule thing before? Or couldn't have Frank turned into a horse and then they could've found a trailer thing to put him in. Wait, weren't trailers for cars?

Why was Jason thinking so much? He wasn't used to this.

No, not the thinking thing, he thought a lot, he just wasn't normally as distracted as he was now.

Apparently, modern civilized society wasn't used to seeing people in bright neon clothes with masks walking around their city – evidently, because their mouths were hanging open like fish gaping. Jason knew Percy would like that simile. Or was it analogy? Metaphor, perhaps?

Jason was then struck by a thought. Simile was almost like smile. Was it possible thatspending too much time around ADHD people could transfer their ADHD thoughts onto him...?

Right now the answer was heading towards yes. And now he sounded like a magic 8 ball. Great. Curse you Leo, Percy, and Annabeth and all their ADHD-ness...

"MOVE IT!" Leo shouted, drawing out the words. "IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR SKITTLE PEOPLE TO BE DRAGGING A BODY. NOTHING TO SEE HERE."

People eyed the green boy peevishly.

Eventually, they finally arrived at the statuevacant of any godly presence. It was still cracked from that little war thing that they had had a few weeks ago but with a little superglue it had been fixed right up.

Did he just dismiss that? Probably. Oh well. He pulled a roll of duct tape out of his pocked. Time to get to work.

Meanwhile with Reyna ….

Reyna debated. Should she actually do this?

...Why not?

She walked up to the statue and took a deep breath. "Terminus?"

Said statute was ranting to a couple of first year recruits about how important it was to keep your hair at regulations length. She shook her head.

"Terminus?" She called again as she walked towards his face.

"Ah! Reyna! My favorite praetor! See, she knows how important it is to keep your hair at- NO RUNNING BEHIND THE LINE!" he shouted at a few children who immediately stopped, not wanting to upset the border god.

"Yes, no running." She said, hoping she sounded official. "Terminus, I just wanted your opinion on... um... The damage reports. From the battle a while ago."

A while ago? More like a few weeks.

"Damage report? Why don't I have a copy of this?" Terminus asked.

Reyna fake gasped. "What do you mean you don't have it? I specifically told someone to give it to you."

"Then why don't I have it?" Terminus screeched.

"People these days... Incompetent."

"I should strangle whoever didn't give it to me with my bare hands."

"You should," Reyna agreed. Then she was struck by an idea. "It was Octavian."

"Of course!" Terminus said angrily. "That boy is trouble."

"Yes he is," she agreed. Lately, she'd been doing a lot of that, agreeing.

"When I get my hands on that boy..." he growled.

Reyna smiled as the object in her pocket vibrated. "He's a troublemaker, that one. I'll be glad to enforce any punishment you see fit."

Back with the rest of G.R.O.S.S.

"Look." Leo laughed. "His head is so floppy."

"He's not conscious," Annabeth gave him a Look.

"When do you think that god person will be back?" Leo asked.

"When he comes back," Piper said matter-oh-factly.

"Har-de-har-har," Leo said. "I mean legit, when."

Annabeth sighed. "I don't know."

Leo gave a dramatic gasp. "You don't know something? Somebody, call the presses! This is global news! I can see it now: Annabeth Chase, Daughter of Athena not-"

Annabeth glared into Leo's soul. He slowly raised his hands. It felt good to know her glare was still effective. "Can we just duct tape him now?"

"Yeah. And we better hurry or else he'll come back before we're done."

So they got to work.

Annabeth pulled the end of the tape hard until her arms were spread far apart. She then stuck some of the tap to the statue, walking around until she covered Octavian. Leo moved his hands so they wouldn't get covered.

Now, the duct tape was supporting the scrawny boy. And so their work was done. Time to run like Hades.

But, they decided to go a bit over board. They kept walking around. And around. And around until it was layer after layer of duct tape.

"It's perfect," Percy decided. But then he took a marker out of his pocket. It was one of those fake Sharpie brands that took forever to come off. Why was it in Percy's pocket?

Percy laughed as he drew a big, long black handlebar mustache on Octavian. "Now it's perfect and beautiful."

Some Romans stopped to watch. Leo raised his arms like he was asking for a hug. "YOU CAN'T FIGHT THE G.R.O.S.S!"

"That sounded a bit weird..." Jason whispered.

"Shut up!" Leo hissed. "Go away."

Then they heard the shrieking. "WHAT IS GOING ON? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!"

And then they decided to run like Hades.

**Empty Thoughts is awesome. Don't deny it. asdfghjkl;' what am i even doing okay i'm just going to sit in the corner now. **


	20. Nineteenth Way

**Before we begin, a shout out to PrankPrincess456. When I got an email saying you favourited my story, I had a laugh attack. You made my day.**

**And there's mild Percabeth if you squint. I tried guys, I tried.**

**[The lack of line brakes is Fanfiction's fault. I tried to put them in but it wasn't working... I hope it still makes sense without them.]**

**19. Set up a very, **_**very**_** rigged version of the Hunger Games**

Everyone was confused when Reyna announced a meeting the day before the war games.

She stood in front of the camp and cleared her throat. "I would like to announce that this week's war games have been cancelled."

Queue groans.

"However," Reyna continued, "we will be holding a version of the Hunger Games instead."

The shock on some peoples' faces was almost laughable. Some were just confused. What's a Hunger Game? Was it some sort of eating contest?

"Two members from each cohort will be chosen, one boy and one girl. You can volunteer for someone if you want. Maiming is frowned upon. Despite the overall point of the real Hunger Games, no killing allowed. Your goal is to knock out every other participant unconscious until you are the last one standing. Once you have been knocked out you are out of the game.  
>The prize is no chores for a month and two hundred denarii."<p>

Now the crowd was murmuring to each other.

"Of course, if you do not wish to participate and you're chosen, someone can volunteer for you. But, if no one does, you're… Well let's just say you're stuck with it." Reyna gave a small, lopsided smile. The crowd noticed it was directed towards Octavian, whose far-off gaze implied that he was in La La land for some reason or another.

"Also like the Hunger Games, 'tributes' can be given gifts from 'sponsors', like weapons, food and medicine."

Now some people grinned. Imagine the fun there could be with that.

"But," Reyna said again, "it will be costly. Depending on the object the minimum will be 5 denarii per object. Bigger objects increase by their size. There will be no weapons like swords and knives, but rather things like pool noodles and foam baseball bats. It's up to 'sponsors' to come up with the money. It's not refundable." Reyna looked around the crowd, her eyes settling on Percy. "Anything you'd like to add, Praetor Percy?"

"The 'reaping' will be tomorrow," Percy added.

Surely enough, tomorrow rolled around, and at noon people began gathering in the fields of Mars.

Those who were avid readers and who had read the Hunger Games were ecstatic. They thought they would have a good fighting chance since they were all trained soldiers of Rome. Especially those from the first cohort, and since their ego's were so big, they were each convinced that if chosen, they would be the one to win.

Octavian on the other hand was confused. What the heck was a Hunger Game? Could it possibly be some sort of eat off? Was he supposed to bring a knife and fork?

Octavian looked down and realized how skinny he was. It looked like he wouldn't have a good chance if he was picked.

Suddenly everything quieted down and his attention was drawn to the makeshift stage. Reyna stood, patiently waiting, hands gripping the microphone stand.

"Pay attention carefully," she snapped. "For this to work everything needs to be silent. Okay? So shut your mouths."

Well, Octavian thought. Someone's on their time of the month.

Then Reyna gave sickening smile and gestured to her right. "Now welcome our very own, Effie Trinket.

When no one showed up Reyna stalked over and pulled someone up. All Octavian could see from where he was standing was magenta ruffles. Reyna pushed the 'Effie' person to the microphone. She growled something into the person's ear.

When the person looked up, everyone gasped.

Someone had dressed Percy Jackson up in a nice fancy pink skirt, covered him in pale makeup and weird pink lipstick. "Welcome, welcome," he managed to spit out of his clenched mouth. He looked very uncomfortable. And very mad.

Then someone in the audience giggled and one thing led to another and before you knew it everyone was laughing their _podex's _off.

"Stop," Percy whined. "It's not funny."

"It's _hilarious_," someone corrected.

"Shut up." Percy glared in their general direction.

"Hurry up, Percy," Reyna called from behind the stage.

Percy glared in her direction too. "Welcome to the first probably-not-annual Camp Jupiter Hunger Games."

There was a wolf whistle, which Percy quickly silenced with a glare.

Percy repeated the rules from the day before and Jason Grace and his little elf-boy-friend-thing wheeled a bowl up. It was blue, sitting on a tall pedestal.

Percy cleared his throat and said, "We're starting with the first cohort. Ladies first." Percy dug his hand into the bowl and plucked out a random, small piece of paper.

"Chloe Potato," Percy said, and after a pause of realization he looked down at the paper again. "Who names their kid Chloe Potato?"

"Excuse me, it's not po-ta-to, it's pota-to." A girl with choppy brown hair and freckles that looked like a fun game of connect the dots walked up to the stage.

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"No!" the girl cried. "It's not." She then started rambling about how important it was to pronounce Potato right. Percy ignored her.

"Now onto the guys..." He repeated the process. "It just says Octavian."

It took Octavian about three seconds to realize it was him. He walked to the stage, Percy glaring at him the whole time.

"Jeez, Octavian. We told you to put your last name on the paper. Can you not listen to instructions?" Octavian was reminded of his fourth grade teacher who said that quite frequently.

"I distinctly remember writing my last name on it." He said coolly.

Percy looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Kay." Sassy, much?

The process continued another time and then Percy said a name that Octavian didn't catch, but he immediately recognized the person.

It was The Wall.

Octavian then realized how bad his chances were right then and there.

He was too busy trying to think of ways he could avoid The Wall, so he missed who was called next. But he snapped out of it when he heard Percy call, "Primrose Everdeen."

There was a slight pause before Percy said, "Come _on _guys. Who did that?"

There were some giggles, probably from people who had read the book but no one came forward. Then-

"I VOLUNTEER!" A girl cried. She started pushing through the crowds, pretending to be really upset. Octavian realized it as Percy Jackson's girlfriend, Annabeth Chase. "I VOLUNTEER!" She cried again.

There was muttering about how the Greek girl had finally lost it, but some people were dying of laughter.

"Well, come up then," Percy said. Annabeth climbed up the stage then gave Percy a quick kiss.

"Last but not least..." Percy said as he pulled the last name out of the ball, "Percy Jackson."

He looked at the crowd like he expected the person to walk on the stage. "HEY!" He finally realized. "I'm not supposed to be in here! Who did this?"

Romans laughed.

"Guys." Percy whined. "When you were asked to write your name on a paper, we meant _your own _name."

"Oops," someone called.

"THIS ISN'T HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T GOING AS PLANNED. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT," Percy cried. Annabeth awkwardly patted his back.

"It's okay," she said, "just do what you were going to do."

Percy sniffled. "Okay. All tributes go over there." He pointed then seemed unsure if he was supposed to go off either. "And the games will be in three days." He then followed the rest of the tributes off the stage.

Octavian stood there with the other people. He watched them mingle with each other. This was boring.

Octavian was _not _enjoying the Hunger Games. It had turned out it wasn't an eat off after all. And there was that little part about how there were people trying to brain him over the head until he was knocked out. That kind of ruined his day.

He was seriously hoping for some cake. Or pie. Pie is good too.

Right after they kidnapped them from camp they shoved them in this building, and Percy told them they would train for two days. Training consisted of learning about plants and animals. Animals? Why?

Oh and fires. Octavian thought about lighting the old retired demigod on fire. No, he would probably get in trouble.

It was an annoying two days, but at least the food was good. They hired a chef to feed them all. Octavian had his favourite foods at his disposal whenever he wanted.

By the end of the second day Octavian was reading for the Hunger Games. Though he still wasn't _exactly _sure what would happen, he was ready.

So on the third day, a little bit before noon he was kidnapped again. They made him dress up in this tracksuit getup. He looked awkward. He was never really big enough for a real sized track suit, so it hung off him awkwardly. The problems of being skinny and tall.

Next they shuffled him into the Elephant Express and to large arena. Octavian had a feeling it was magical since he couldn't see the other side from where he was sitting, and since there was no way the camp could afford a brand new giant arena and all the pretty (he didn't think that, he takes that back) trees.

"Get out," someone said. The tributes obeyed. They were pushed to the arena. Well, the others weren't pushed. Octavian was pushed. People were mean.

They were walked over to these pedestal things and Octavian told to stand on one beside Chloe Potato.

Then, out of nowhere, a voice started counting. "70. 69..."

Octavian thought it was a bit weird they didn't start at 60.

He caught a good look around the arena. It was a forest, something Octavian wasn't used to.

"25. 26. 27."

The person counted slowly. It was annoying.

"13. 12. 11. 10."

Percy Jackson was making weird faces at Annabeth.

"5. 4. 3. 2. 1." Then a gong went off, and everyone ran off to the center where there was a lovely picnic table. Octavian cautiously made his way over, extra careful not to get any pies thrown at him.

(Hey, you never know. Crazy pie throwers _do _happen.)

Then, Octavian tripped. A flashlight just happened to be lying there and it hurt. Don't land on flashlights, children. He rolled over and clutched his stomach with a groan. Apparently, he tripped over a backpack with a sleeping bag attached to it.

Odd he thought as grabbed it and slung it over his shoulder-

**BOOM.**

It was so loud Octavian jumped. He figured someone found a cannon. Then he noticed a body on the ground. It looked like the girl from the fourth cohort. Octavian stared for a moment. Were they dead?

He didn't have time to answer himself because the Wall entered his field of vision, so he booked it.

**Day 1.5:**

Octavian fell into a bunny hole. It hurt his ankle. He hobbled off into the forest to find somewhere to spend the night. Hopefully he could avoid the Wall.

**Day 2:**

After another day of waking up on the cold, hard ground Octavian decided to leave the area he knew was safe. He walked for half an hour before he heard leaves crunch.

He paused for a minute before coming to the conclusion that someone was walking around too. He carefully looked around the tree.

It appeared Chloe Potato had the same idea and as they came face to face her eyes widened. There was an awkward pause. Then Chloe Potato pulled out an ax.

Who gave this girl an ax? In what world is that _safe?_

Needless to say, Octavian ran.

**Day 2.80:**

After running until it was dark, Octavian shuffled through his backpack for food. He wasn't about to go hunting for food, so he stuck to berries. And he paid close attention to all the plants and stuff so he was not short on food.

Now he was looking for a good place to rest. The ground was cold and muddy, not really suitable to lie down on.

Then he was struck with a brilliant idea. He looked around for a tree with a branch low enough to climb and then hoisted himself up. He balanced along a thick branch and pulled out his sleeping bag. Deciding it wasn't smart to try his luck by slipping in the sleeping bag, he opened it and threw it over himself. Good enough.

**Day 3:**

Octavian woke up on the ground. His face was full of mud. He wasn't sure how he slept through that. He spent the morning getting mud out of the more _undesirable_ places.

**Day 3.69:**

A cannon went off. It was as loud as before and it made Octavian slip and land in another mud puddle.

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," he muttered as he stomped all the mud off his feet and half-heartedly wiped at his face and pants.

"Do you hear that?" a female voice wondered aloud. Octavian froze.

"Hear what?" a deeper voice asked.

The girl hesitated. "Thumping."

Octavian carefully backed out of the clearing he was walking through, just in time for Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase make their way through the trees. Percy was carrying a large rubber mallet and Annabeth was carrying a brick.

A brick …? Then again, this was Annabeth Chase, who'd thrown down her boyfriend at their reunion. Brick + Annabeth = Scary.

There was a breeze that made the both of them look in Octavian's direction.

"Sounds like a parachute." Annabeth frowned. "There must be someone else here, it's too far away."

"Or they missed," Percy said.

Annabeth turned to give him a look Octavian didn't catch because he was too busy looking for the parachute.

He kept an ear on the two Greeks and- There! A long silver object was slowly making its way down to Octavian. Just a few more feet... He jumped up as high as he could and grabbed it. He heard Percy and Annabeth start to walk over, so as soon as his feet hit the ground, he took off.

He heard them laugh behind him, but they didn't follow.

Octavian ran for a straight 20 minutes. They wouldn't catch up, right? He sat down on a tree stump with a thump. He stared at his parachute. It was long, and oddly light. What could it be? It's not like it was a sword or anything.

It was like Christmas Eve all over again. The presents were staring you in the face, you could shake them all you wanted but you couldn't figure it out until the next morning.

So Octavian being Octavian, he ripped it open. He got one look at its stupid pink plastic and threw it as far as he could.

He grumbled angrily for a minute. Stupid people. Stupid pink plastic flamingos.

The gods were probably laughing at him. The gods and all of camp Jupiter.

Octavian continued to glare at the flamingo as he got his lunch.

**Day 4:**

Three more cannons went off that day. Octavian figured Percy and Annabeth were still in the game, unless they turned against each other at some point. He figured the Wall was still in too. Chloe Potato though... She _could _be out, but then again she did have an ax. Two players could have teamed up to take her down, but still, an _ax_.

Octavian and his pink plastic flamingo spent the day walking.

**Day 5:**

Octavian was making his way back to the picnic table thing when it happened. The Wall stepped out from behind a tree and the next thing Octavian knew the Wall had him pinned to the tree by his neck.

"I'm winning two hundred denarii," the Wall informed him.

"That's good for you," Octavian said, desperately trying to breathe.

Nothing happened for a minute. Then Octavian thought to himself, this is really awkward. So with his right hand he poked the Wall in the eye, who immediately started cursing and let him go.

Octavian took action. He picked up his flamingo and brought it down on the Wall's head as hard as he could. It had its desired effect. The Wall crumbled to the ground, unconscious.

He glanced down at the body, breathing heavily as he picked up his scattered belongings and headed off in the other directions.

**BOOM.**

Later on Octavian would say he didn't remember Annabeth Chase creeping up behind him, but he did remember her laughing as she threw her brick.

**BOOM.**

Annabeth felt proud of herself as she made her way back to Percy. She'd took the little creep out. She went back to the clearing she told Percy to meet her in.

"Hey," he called, "for a minute there I thought Octavian got the upper hand and won."

"Yeah," she snorted. "Like that would happen."

They sat down in the flowers.

"Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something...?" Annabeth said, scrunching her eyebrows as she tried to remember.

"'Dunno." Percy replied. "Looks like we're the last ones."

"I don't feel like beating you up with my brick."

"I don't feel like getting beat up by a brick."

There was an awkward pause before Percy said, "You wanna just hold our breath until we pass out?"

"Sure."

Chloe Potato laughed as two cannons went off. The others thought she was insane. She didn't care, because now she was two hundred denarii richer.

**This is almost 3000 words. Consider yourselves lucky.**

**I reread the Mark of Athena and that's why Annabeth has a brick. Because Jason got brick'd. Jason flippin' Grace was taken out by a brick. And he's supposed to save the world. Just let that sink in...**

**HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY GUYS!**

**(If we reach 900 reviews by the 10th of January I will update on the 12th and if you guys should give some of my newer stories some love too... Just saying.)**

**Update: February 10... Um. Exams and stuff. I didn't think January would be so hectic. I DIDN'T KNOW OKAY. I'm going to write like right this second. (It's 3:05. On the 10th. You can hold me to that. I don't think the chapter's honestly going to be too long.)**


	21. Twentieth way

**kim3375 threatened to castrate me if I didn't update. Even though I'm a girl, I figured I should play on the safe side. **

**Chapter 20: Octavian learns the meaning of #YOLO**

**Disclaimer: It doesn't take RR, like, four months to write a little over 1000 words.**

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><p>The morning was quiet.<p>

Correction: it wasn't actually morning.

Correction 2: it wasn't actually quite.

It was after lunch and Octavian was quickly running inside to get his ceremonial knife. Of course, it was very convenient that as soon as he ran in, there was a shrill ringing sound that made him pause. His fast pace came to a sudden stop that caused him to skid for a second.

The ringing noise disappeared— and then it was back again. It took Octavian a minute to compute that it was actually a telephone. He looked around, wondering whose phone it was and if they were going to answer it. It rung once more.

When he found it, it was, oddly enough, on the floor. It was the new... What was it called again?

iPod? iPooed? No— iPhone! It was the newest one. Something about a five. It looked ridiculously long and awkward. And it was still ringing.

Here was the dilemma: demigods weren't supposed to use cell phones. He couldn't remember if it applied to legacies or not.

He picked it up and decided to accept the call. "Hello?"

Octavian heard breathing from the other side.

"Hello?" he repeated.

A rough, dry voice replied. "Seven days," it said.

"Seven days?" Octavian asked. "What?"

Silence.

"Hello?"

The annoying dial tone was all that could be heard from the phone. Octavian frowned. He put the phone back in its place, grabbed his knife and went outside.

* * *

><p>He spent the next three days wondering what it had been about. Who would call and leave a silly message like that?<p>

It didn't really click. He went about his life lolly-gagging and prancing around in fields or something like that without the prancing. And the lolly-gagging, really. He kind of just went about life... Gods that's boring.

It was luck that he remembered this joke his friends told once. Something about a phone call where the caller just said "Seven days." and then seven days later the person ended up dead.

Now that he thought about it, it probably wasn't a joke. Or at least it wasn't a very good one.

Then it finally clicked that he was going to die.

Of course, Octavian knew he was already going to die- eventually that is. Not in four days. Four days wasn't enough to do everything he needed to do.

... or was it?

Octavian didn't want to find out. So, he started working, immediately, doing whatever little Octavian's do*.

*(Octavians commonly plot, destroy hopes and dreams, murder innocent [or maybe not that innocent] teddy bears.)

So Octavian being Octavian, began to plot.

* * *

><p>Reyna drearily woke up in the morning and shuffled her way to the shower. She did things then opened the shower curtain.<p>

She jumped (though she would deny it later) because stuck to her shower head was a decapitated teddy bear. "Gods," Reyna said as she removed it. On the back was a note that said;

_This wasn't done by Octavian._

Sure it wasn't, she thought as she threw it in the trash. Then the scary part struck her. Octavian had been in her house.

He. Was. In. Her. House.

Where was the disinfectant?

It was then that she realized she was already late, so she threw the idea of cleaning to the side and hopped in the shower.

If there was one thing Reyna enjoyed besides her morning hot cocoa, it was showering. It was so relaxing. She almost forgot that Octavian was in her house, being his normal creepy self.

She closed her eyes and let the water cascade down her shoulders. Then she remembered she was running late, and even though at the moment she didn't care, she hurried up.

It wasn't until she got out and was drying her legs off-correction-about to dry her leg off that she realized she was purple.

Honest-to-gods purple. It wasn't a light lavender, it was a deep, dark purple, and almost perfectly matched their camp colours.

It took a few precious moments for that to sink in as she continued to stare at her legs. Then her mouth fell open in such an un-Reyna like way, and she let out a tiny girl-ish scream. It was then too, that she realized that she was purple everywhere.

With her white towel she dabbed at it, and it came back purple. Her legs retained their purple tint.

Later, Reyna was sure that she passed the world record for the quickest dressing time. She practically flew out the door before slowing when she realized she had to think about where he would be during this time of day.

Deciding it would be the temple, because where else would Octavian be, she made her way down there, ignoring the weird glances she got.

Octavian, conveniently enough, wasn't in the temple, but trying to get a donut. He was just grabbing it when Reyna tackled him.

(She was really, really mad.)

(Residents of New Rome only saw some sort of purple flying being tackle their auger, but none really cared enough to stop it, nor were any that surprised, considering how many strange things

had been going on.)

"You," she growled.

"Me?" Octavian squeaked.

"I got your little note."

Octavian pretended to be confused. "What note?"

"Don't sign your work next time," she snarled.

"... this wouldn't have to do with you being purple, would it?"

Reyna got up off the twerp and wiped tiny rocks off her outfit. She took a calming breath before she said, "Yes, actually it has everything to do with that."

"It wasn't me," Octavian said, trying to look innocent.

"Well," she said, "until you find out who did, you can clean your barracks every night for them."

Mid dramatic exit she realized that Octavians jelly donut had splattered during impact.

Octavian didn't care though, because in about three days, he would be dead.

He could so handle three days of punishment, because it was very much worth it.

* * *

><p>Two days after the Purple Flying Tackle Incident, as it was called by people of Camp Jupiter, who liked to mimic it in their spare time (the same people wanted it to be taught in their war training classes), Octavian was plotting once again.<p>

He knew that tomorrow, he was going to die. He was oddly calm, considering he was about to die. Well, at first he'd been scared, but then he'd realized he was being irrational. It wasn't like he would be going to some great oblivion, because he knew there was an afterlife, and he figured since he hadn't really been that awful, he would at least achieve Elysium.

Besides, they didn't give the Isle of the Blessed to first timers.

His latest plot consisted of one simple thing: a banana. And a camera, but it wasn't actually involved in the pranking. That was the after prank.

* * *

><p>Breaking into Jason's house was as easy as breaking into Reyna's. His prank was really simple.<p>

He first ate the banana, then calculated where Jason would most likely step. He then dropped the banana peel and waited for Jason.

It took half an hour before Octavian heard feet make their way up the porch. Octavian turned on the camera and pressed the record button.

Jason looked tired, which helped Octavian greatly. It meant Jason wasn't paying attention.

Then Jason slipped on the banana peel. He landed with a great thud and Octavian contained a gleeful squeal. The praetor let out a groan before leaning up to see what he slipped on. When he saw the banana he groaned and fell back down.

Octavian took it as his cue to leave.

* * *

><p>The next morning Octavian found Alex. He approached the boy with a smile. Alex looked afraid.<p>

"Hey friend of mine, can you do me a favor?" he tried to say lightly, like how he heard other people talk to their friends. That _was_ what friends said to each other right?

"I'm not your friend."

Octavian's expression turned sour. "I was trying to be friendly."

Alex's face mimicked Octavian's. "What do you want, smoothie thief?"

Octavian thrusted the camera into Alex's arms. "If I die tomorrow, post this video on youtube.

You got that, Fruit-for-Brains?"

"Sure?"

Octavian went to bed that night with a feeling of accomplishment. He would die happy.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until the next day when he woke up that he figured he'd made a terrible mistake.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Now for a Q&amp;A none of you wanted but you're getting anyways:<strong>

**Where are you? Why haven't you updated?**

In my room, and because I'm an awful person. (At least I'm better than a certain Taffeh A. Llama.)[taffeh go away]

**Why haven't you replied to and PM's I've sent you?**

Because I'm an awful person.

**Is this story discontinued?**

No, it never will be. I'm finishing this story guys. It might just take a while.

**Is this story going on hiatus? **

I don't know if it counts as a hiatus, but there's usually huge gaps between updates. From now on it's my goal to update once a month or so. That's what it was before but yeah.

**Why haven't you updated? Legit?**

Besides the fact that I'm an evil, awful person? I have evil, awful things to do. I'm a student, and school sucks, and I'm bad at planning ahead so I go to bed after midnight every night. Thus, I'm very tired. I'm also (I'm not sure why) writing a whole bunch of multi-chap stories which won't be posted until this story is done. (I'm trying to motivate myself but it's not working.)

**Tl;dr- I'm an awful person, the show- [story oops] will go on, and I need more sleep. And better life choices. **

_Those who don't understand the ending, and I'm sure there will be since there was last chapter, just let me know in your review and I'll explain it to you :)_

When I realized how many people reviewed after last time, I freaked out. You're all amazing. I don't deserve it.


	22. Twenty-first way

**The biggest thanks to my beta, Darknesse Sidhe, for beta reading out of the blue, and putting up with my completely unedited chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Octavian, but if I did, he'd be eaten by zombies because JUST DESSERTS. (Or whatever the saying is. Close enough.)**

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><p><strong>21: But it ain't even Halloween.<strong>

* * *

><p>Percy was actually quite pleased with Octavian. Dying Reyna purple hadn't been expected but now that she had calmed down to a lighter purple, and she had calmed down herself, it was fun to make jokes at her expense.<p>

Speaking of Reyna- they were currently in her house, planning their next prank. Reyna wasn't actually there, but they had kind of let themselves in. Well, Jason had the key for some reason that Percy was trying not to think about, and he kindly lent it to them so they could use Reyna's house as a base of operations.

There was a map of New Rome on Reyna's table. It was super cool, with pop-up buildings and stuff that made it fun to stare at, and Percy figured it was enchanted because the fountains had little fake waterspouts coming out of them, and there were tiny animated people strolling around.

Jason pointed to Reyna's house, and bent down to look inside. "The map's running on real time. See, we're in there."

Sure enough, there was a tiny Percy, Jason, Leo, Piper, Annabeth, Frank and Hazel standing in the tiny house. There wasn't any of the furniture, which Jason explained was because the map was only designed to show the people and buildings, just in case they needed to evacuate the city some day, like for some reason they were being invaded. That way no one would get accidently left behind, and they could plan where to position people.

"Why are those two people going into that bathroom stall together?" Hazel asked. Leo covered her eyes.

It was also very good for planning routes to take if you were chasing someone.

They spent the next half hour picking out makeup from the magazine Piper brought, before they broke off in groups of two with special fliers, staple guns and tape.

It was times like these that Percy was glad they had a daughter of Aphrodite on their side.

* * *

><p>Their morning started off with Piper commanding the group of demigods to split into two groups, one significantly larger than the other. Each person was given a special set of bands to put on their right arm. Each set was a different colour, and each had a number printed on the side. For example, Percy stole a blue set with the number 146 printed on each and every one. He figured that since he was helping to plan the event, he got first picks.<p>

It took about forty-five minutes to get everyone a band, and considering about three hundred people showed up and some demanded they get certain colours, that was pretty good.

Jason brought one group over to the side and explained to them the route they were going to take. Percy and the rest started putting the makeup on the other group, while Annabeth explained the system for the bracelets.

"Each person participating has a bracelet, right?" Annabeth said, and no one [spoke up] said otherwise. "Okay, so this team– team A will be the chaser team. Your goal is to catch as many people as you can. When you have caught someone, you give them one of your bracelets, and they give you one of theirs, which you'll put on your left arm. That's just to insure that no one can cheat. You can't catch anyone twice, and you can tell if they've been caught because they'll have bracelets on both arms. Once a person has been caught once, they're allowed to catch people themselves. So team B, your goal is to evade anyone from team A, and who ever has all of their bracelets on at the end gets a prize. And team A, if you don't have any of your bracelets left, and you have ten from other people, you'll get a prize. The first ten people on either team to finish get an extra five. Everyone understand?"

No one said otherwise again, and Annabeth clapped her hands together. "There's going to be someone on team B leading the group, and even if they get caught they'll still lead the group. Have fun everyone!"

"Oh," Leo added, "Twenty extra points for whoever gets Octavian."

* * *

><p>Octavian noticed it was quiet. Too quiet...<p>

He was walking through New Rome since it was a Saturday (and his day off), drinking a smoothie and minding his own business. There was an unusual amount of people not out and about, which made him pause and glance around.

Not far away, he heard the pitter-patter of feet. He frowned. It was steadily getting closer and he peered around a large building to see what was going on. Then, suddenly, a girl cut in front of him. She stumbled and grabbed on to him for support.

He recognized her as a member of the second cohort. Her name was Kira, and she had pretty green eyes, which at that moment were very, very wide. She was gasping for breath, and was covered in a thin coat of sweat, her dirty blonde hair released Octavian's arms. "Run!" she said simply, and took off down the side road.

Octavian's eyebrows rose. He looked around the corner again, only to have yet another person bump into him. Chris, from the first cohort. He didn't need to grab on to Octavian to regain his balance, but he stumbled a few steps. "Run," he said. "They're coming."

"Who's coming?" Octavian asked. "Kira said the same thing."

"I-I don't know what they are, but you need to run." Chris ran the other way.

Octavian muttered something about how everyone was going insane before he ventured around the corner one last time. What he saw was possibly the ugliest thing he had ever seen, and probably ever would see. It was even uglier than that one time he'd seen his mom without any makeup on.

And it vaguely resembled Alex.

It was grey, with dark shadows under its eyes. Its teeth were a dark yellow, as if they hadn't brushed in months, possibly years, and one of them was slowly rotting, turning it a dark grey. Its hair was disheveled. The most gruesome part was the cut across its throat, the skin around it stained a reddish brown.

It was running towards him at a fast pace, and when it rounded the corner it skidded to a stop. It stared at Octavian for a fraction of a second, but before it could try anything, Octavian ran off to follow Kira and Chris.

"What was that thing?" Octavian shouted at the pair when he caught up. While people had made fun of him when he had first joined the legion, they had quickly stopped when they'd realized how fast he was.

"Pretty sure it was a zombie," Kira said between breaths. She wasn't much of a long distance runner, but she'd been working on it.

"What in Pluto's name is a zombie?" Octavian questioned.

"An undead person who's come back from the grave with the sole purpose of munching on your brains," Chris answered.

"That's impossible," Octavian stuttered. "The one I saw looked like it couldn't have been dead that long!"

"Don't let the catch you," Chris said again, "Because you can get infected through a bite. Then we'd have to kill you."

Octavian ran just a little bit faster so he was in pace with Kira.

"Where are you running to?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I'm just running."

Little did Octavian know that Kira had a secret earpiece (invented by the great Leo Valdez) that connected her to the group inside Reyna's house. They were giving her directions, and funny comments at the same time. They thought it was funny, and so did she, but it was hard to pretend you were running for your life with people telling jokes in your ear.

"Shouldn't we try and make it somewhere safe-"

"No," Kira said. "We're just running."

"That's stupid. We're going to die and you just want to run around randomly?"

"Yes," she said and took a sharp right. She had been told that the run was about 5 kilometers, or 3 miles, but she wasn't exactly sure where she was going to end up.

"You're crazy!" Octavian cried. But he followed her anyways.

* * *

><p>"Is the trip wire up yet?" Piper asked.<p>

"Frank's working on it," Jason answered.

Percy looked up from the map. "Man, those zombies can run. They'll be right on Octavian's back soon."

"Correction," Leo said. "They already are."

Sure enough, the first zombie to catch up to the lead came to only a few meters behind Chris, who was last in their little trio. Octavian was doing what he did best besides plotting against people and murdering beloved stuffed animals; running away, and found himself in first.

Over the intercom they heard Frank say, rather loudly, that the trip wire was up. All that was left to do wait. And giggle with anticipation.

Octavian, of course, didn't see it coming. He was just running for his life, minding his own business when suddenly the world decided to flip, sending Octavian onto his back.. Kira saw him fall and hopped over the wire, as did Chris

The zombie saw it too, and when it saw Octavian its eyes lit up with excitement. Octavian's, on the other hand, lit up with fear. He didn't want to be a zombie! He still had so much life ahead of him. He had things to do, places to take over and well, stuff.

"Don't go on without me!" he cried. Kira and Chris didn't even slow down.

"Every Roman for themselves!" Kira replied, almost happily.

"We must make sacrifices for the greater good of the group," Chris said.

By the time Octavian had managed to stand back up, the zombie was right behind him. Octavian noticed that it really did look like Alex. That's when, out of the corner of his eye, Octavian noticed another set of people coming. They weren't zombies, but behind them was another group of two zombies.

"Where are you guys going?" Octavian asked.

"We're following Kira and Chris," one replied.

"What is wrong with everyone?" Octavian yelled angrily to the skies, like they were listening. Actually, they probably were, but they really didn't care. He took a deep breath– all the running was tiring him out.

"Just run!" another said.

After maybe twenty minutes of evading numerous zombies and more people who were being followed by zombies, Octavian caught back up to Kira and Chris. He rounded one last corner, one he saw them take, and came to an abrupt halt.

On the ground a few feet away was Kira and Chris, both lying down and breathing heavily. Standing over them was zombie-Alex. Oh gods, Octavian thought. They were captured, and now they would be turned into zombies too!

He ran forward. Maybe he could save them? But wait, why would he want to do that? Sure, they were fellow Romans, and he'd known them for years and stuff, but there was a zombie behind them. He didn't want to be bitten. That would suck. And they kinda left him for dead back there, which obviously wasn't going to get them in his good books.

For the second time that day, Octavian's feet were knocked out from under him. When he rolled back over to face the sky, and ugly, bloodied face was standing over him. It was unrecognizable, simply because all the red was obscuring the rest of its face.

But it grinned. "I caught Octavian!"

Another zombie came up behind it, "Gods dammit. You've won, now."

"Pluto yeah!" the first zombie said as it dragged Octavian up. "Common, we've got to finish."

It dragged Octavian by the arm over to a finish line that he hadn't noticed before. A girl was waiting there with a wet towel, which zombie boy used to wipe all the blood off his face. It was just makeup?

"Lookie what I caught!" he said excitedly. "It's Octavian! I get twenty extra points, and I got rid of all my bracelets."

"Congrats," the girl said. "I think we'll be doing prizes as soon as the last person gets here."

"What's going on?" Octavian asked, feeling rather lost.

"It's a zombie run," the girl said. There was a silent duhh following it.

"It would be helpful if you explained what that is," he snapped.

"You run from people dressed as zombies, duh," she glared. "Sorry, I thought it was pretty obvious."

When the two of the Skittle people showed up to hand out the prizes, Octavian realized he had been pranked. Again.

When the banner that read "NEW ROME'S FIRST ANNUAL ZOMBIE RUN! EVERYONE IS INVITED!" unfurled from where it was hung, he realized they were just rubbing it in.

The zombie who caught Octavian ended up winning the entire race, which was a given, considering that he'd caught the main goal and all. Also, he'd gotten rid of all of his bracelets, and he finished in the top ten, which totalled him at a whopping 35 points.

He was given a rubber chicken, the advice to use it wisely, and a gift card to the coffee shop.

* * *

><p>Reyna opened the doors to her house to find the members of G.R.O.S.S clogging up her living room.<p>

"How do you keep getting in here?" she yelled. "I changed the locks!"

"Does it really matter-" Valdez started.

"Yes, now get out!" she took off her shoe and held it threateningly. Surprisingly, they all left.

(But not before she actually did throw the old lock at Valdez. That made her day.)

Reyna then enjoyed a nice cup of hot chocolate and a bath that didn't dye her any strange colours

* * *

><p><strong>So I kind of meant to upload this around Halloween. Meh, I was only off by two months. I was rereading an old chapter, and it said "Is it sad MOA will be out before this is finished?" Can we all just take a moment to appreciate my bad updating (and estimating) skills, and how Blood of Olympus will probably be out before I'm done this?<strong>

**What's new with me? Nothing really. The feud between me and my pet bird is still going strong. I still can't spell feud right on my first try. I broke up with my boyfriend. I failed another math test. Woo. Life.**

**And no, I didn't forget you guys. It's kind of hard when you're constantly reviewing and favoriting. Your persistence is… acknowledged and I'm a bit mystified. Seriously, how are you guys finding this thing, it's been like eight months. Like plz.**

**[IS THE FORMATTING MESSED OR IS IT JUST ME? OHCAPS]**


	23. Twenty-Second way

Just in case any of you are wondering, by the time you get there, fluorescent lamps are those big long light bulbs. Like in school hallways, and stuff. If I offend any penguins that were reading this, or possibly a person who lives in the South Pole, I'm sorry? If you live in the South Pole, you're crazy. I'm Canadian, that says something.

Is it just me or is this chapter just... _strange_?

* * *

><p>Octavian didn't want to spend his Wednesday night being a piñata, but it happened anyways.<p>

It had started like this: he had been reading a book called "How to Murder Your Boss and Get Away with it", though it was hidden behind an interesting magazine. Actually, let's go with comic … a _comic book. _He sat comfortably on his bed, his back against his fluffy pillow (it totally did not have Bugs Bunny and Tweety on it, which was totally not why Octavian only changed his pillowcase when everyone was asleep… totally).

Octavian's job was to read auguries most of the day (really, he should have been with the rest of his cohort, practicing and stuff, but no one was in the mood to argue with him). It seemed that no one was in the mood to be in the same room as him, since he was all alone in the barracks. Though that could have just been because he had taken his lunch a little bit earlier.

And that, of course, was how they caught him.

It didn't take him long to notice the lights flickering, and the buzzing sound was all too loud. He cast the fluorescent lamps a questioning look, blaming it on bad funding. When the one next to it flickered out he sighed and rolled off his bed, planning on complaining all the way to Reyna's office.

He only got as far as two beds over before all the lights turned off. They flickered on and off before they finally died a rather pitiful death. Octavian heard feet shuffling from all sides. He found himself blinking into the darkness, as if he expected that to help him.

"Where is he?" someone whispered, clearly as lost as he was. A person to the voice's right cursed and grumpled about broken toes.

The footsteps grew closer. Octavian could hear one of them breathing heavily behind him. He prepared for attack, wishing that he hadn't left his knife under his bed. Unsurprisingly, attack came from a side he wasn't expecting. One of the intruders bumped him from the side, rather hard, causing him to fly forwards. Since he was in the dark he didn't see someone's conveniently placed foot.

Oh jeez, Octavian thought as he fell, I've been taken out by a bumbling fool and a someone's misplaced foot.

"Oops," one of the intruders said, right before Octavian's head smacked onto the edge of someone's trunk. Like a regular human being, he fell unconscious.

"Someone turn on the lights," a voice said.

"Goddamit, Frank, you've killed him," the green skittle person said.

* * *

><p>"We really have to stop this," Percy said.<p>

"What?" Leo asked, looking up from where he was poking Octavian with the tip of his shoe.

Percy sighed. "Most of our pranks revolve around Octavian being unconscious while we move him somewhere else. I'm getting really tired of carrying him around everywhere."

Jason nodded in agreement. Leo said, "Well, I wouldn't say _most_..."

"Annabeth, Piper and Reyna should carry him next time," Frank said.

"What about Hazel?" Jason asked.

"Favouritism!" Leo accused.

Frank blushed and admitted, "I just think Hazel would be too tiny to be much help."

"It's the thought that counts," Leo said, then began bouncing on his toes, "But hurry up- let's get this show on the road!"

* * *

><p>Octavian's head throbbed when he eventually came back into the realm of the conscious. His eyes felt crusted over, and he blinked them heavily, trying to force them apart. Thankfully no one was watching him because he looked a bit funny, opening one eye up at a time.<p>

His limbs felt unusually stiff. He tried to rub his eyes with his fists, only to find his arms unable to bend, and his fingers undoubtedly stuck. His eyes came into focus to find his arms in some sort of cast. A pink cast.

Octavian frowned, and with some effort, was able to sit up. His torso wasn't plastered, but his legs- all the way to his waist- and feet were. His hands were duct taped individually with possibly ten layers of the evil product.

It was only then that Octavian realized he was in an unfamiliar, dark room. There was a cheap-looking lightbulb above his head, but it was so dim that Octavian couldn't see any of the room's walls. He began to try and smash his ankles on the ground, hoping that he could break the plaster. Why was it so light? Wait, was he covered in _paper mache_? No, it wasn't possible. Who would do something so completely random and stupid?

Well, the back of Octavian's mind said, G.R.O.S.S would.

Octavian began to assess the situation. He was in some unknown room, who knows where. For all he knew, it was possible he wasn't even in the continent of North America anymore. Maybe he was in the South Pole. Did people in the South Pole have fetishes for pink paper-mached skinny white boys?

He began to smack his ankles with a renewed vigor.

"What's that sound?" someone heard multiple footsteps come down the stairs.

"I think he's awake," someone else, a girl, replied.

"No," a boy said sarcastically, "really?"

A person in a neon blue morph suit peeked around the corner. Judging by their voice, it was either a girl or a boy who hadn't hit puberty yet. "Who moved the glue?"

"I put it back in the closet, just in case he knocked it over or something," the yellow boy said as he flicked on the light switch. The room suddenly looked a lot bigger.

"Good thinking, sunshine," green skittle person said.

"Oh, shut up, puke boy."

"Okay, break it up you two," the neon red boy said.

"We weren't even fighting yet," Green said.

"Yet," parroted the orange girl.

The blue morph suit walked over to a closet that Octavian hadn't been able to see before they turned the lights on, and pulled out a white bucket. She had no problems lifting it and carrying it over, but judging by how quick she dropped it, it was rather heavy. She took the lid off, and Octavian was able to see a clear, gooey substance.

"It looks like eggs," the small, bright purple girl said.

The large fuchsia-coloured boy looked at her. Through his morphsuit Octavian could tell he was frowning. "I don't like eggs," he said.

The girl in purple rubbed her face, exasperated.

Meanwhile, the boy in red, and the neon orange girl were sorting out cut-out pieces of news paper.

"What's going on?" Octavian asked.

The puke green boy snorted. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Well," said Octavian, "yes."

Greenie didn't know how to respond, at first. "That sucks," he said at last.

"We should have taken his shirt off before we did his arms," said the blue girl.

All the skittle people turned as she said this. Yellow started to stroke his imaginary beard.

Red awkwardly looked at the other members of G.R.O.S.S before he reached out for the bottom on Octavian's shirt. He gave it a tug upwards. It made it to Octavian's shoulders, where the paper mache cast ended.

"Ow," Octavian said as Red pulled once more. "Are you trying to pull my arm off?"

Red looked back to his accomplices. "A little help, guys?"

Together, the members of G.R.O.S.S were successfully able to get Octavian's shirt off. It was a good thing for them, he supposed, but a bad thing for him.

"Paper mache time!" one of them exclaimed.

* * *

><p>"That's cold," Octavian whined.<p>

"Yes, yes," Green said in a tone that was generally reserved for small children. "You've already said that."

"This feels disgusting," he whined again.

"You've already said that as well," Blue said.

They were currently still slathering paper mache on Octavian's chest. He was now 85% paper mache, since they were apparently too lazy to cover his hands, and they weren't going to do his neck or face, for obvious reasons.

"What are you planning on doing with me, after you finish?" Octavian asked.

"We're going to throw a fiesta!" Green exclaimed.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, as the members of G.R.O.S.S were about to learn, fiestas were rather hard to come by in New Rome. They had to compromise for tacos. Lots and lots of tacos.<p>

Outside, they set up numerous tables, all of which were filled with different things to put on tacos, and of course, the tacos themselves.

Almost like a centerpiece, in the center of the fiesta zone, was a gallows. Like the thing they used to hang pirates on in the old days. The members of the twelfth legion were undoubtedly confused, but not overly concerned.

The members of G.R.O.S.S managed to track down one of those moving cart things that wasn't really a cart. It had two wheels and was usually used for moving crates. But on that particular day it had been repurposed for moving Octavian. It had been painted a neon green that perfectly matched the green G.R.O.S.S member, and was a complementary colour to Octavian's pink clad body, and the regular silver duct tape they used to attach him to it.

Unlike his fellow Romans, Octavian was quite concerned about the giant gallows. Since he was kind of like a giant marshmallow except not, and his thumbs that he was rather proud of were taped together, he was the literal definition of _stuck. _His worries grew even more pronounced when he saw the yellow skittle person fighting with the blue skittle person over a rope. Wait, it wasn't just a rope. It was a noose.

Oh gods, he thought. This was it. G.R.O.S.S would finally take things too far, and he'd end up dead. His hurst would be the stupid crate mover thing he was on and his coffin would be a neon pink cardboard box. He could see it all now.

Romans were already gathered in the fiesta area. Most were munching on tacos.

"Everyone, look over here for a second," the red skittle person shouted. No one really paid attention. They were too absorbed in their tacos.

"SHUT UP AND STOP EATING YOUR TACOS!" the neon orange girl shouted. Amazingly, everyone stopped talking at once and ceased chewing. Some went as far as to drop their tacos. One young boy fell to the ground, weeping over his beloved, now inedible taco.

"Thanks," Red said. "First, we'd like to welcome you to our fiesta. We hope the tacos are up to snuff."

"Who says that anymore?" Green said.

"I thought I said shut up," Orange said again. Green mimed locking his mouth and throwing away the key.

"Second," Red continued like nothing happened, "Our main event will be taking place in about five to ten minutes, and you're all invited to take part. By then we'd ask that everyone who wishes to participate is done eating tacos. The rest of you may continue if you want."

Some people cheered enthusiastically, while others clapped politely. The adults in the crowd didn't seem to care that the people organizing the event were seven miscreants in morph suits who had wheeled in a boy covered in paper mache. Man, the demigods really needed to get their priorities straight. Suspicious people kidnapping legionnaires, or tacos? They _all_ voted tacos.

After Red finished his speech, all of G.R.O.S.S wandered off to talk. Green came back two minutes later, holding a taco.

"You look hungry," he said, and held up the taco. "Want some?"

"No."

Green's head tilted to the side. "I went through all this trouble of making you a taco, though."

"You can have it," Octavian suggested irritably.

"I can't take off my mask. Superheroes aren't allowed to, you know. So I guess you'll just have to eat it," he said, and shoved the taco into Octavian's face.

"What in Pluto's name are you doing?" Octavian said, spitting out a bit of taco and attempted to avoid another facefull.

"Feeding you the taco," Green said like it was obvious. "I can't let good food go to waste, and you're… kind of tied up at the moment."

"I wonder why," Octavian snarked.

"Just eat your taco," Green said as he guided to taco to Octavian's mouth once more.

* * *

><p>Blue was the one who found Octavian in the awkward situation he was in, about five minutes later.<p>

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice mildly concerned, weirded out, and amused all at once.

"Feeding the prisoner," was the response she received.

"Okay then," she said. "We're about to start."

"Start what?" Green asked.

"The _main event_," she said. Octavian could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

"Yay," said Green. Yellow came over with 'Fuchsia' in tow. Octavian was moved from the corner he was put in to the center, right beside the gallows.

"ANYONE WHO WANTS TO PARTICIPATE IS ASKED TO PUT THEIR TACOS IN THE GARBAGE OR FINISH THEM QUICKLY - WITHOUT CHOKING PLEASE - AND COME FORWARDS," shouted Orange. People immediately began to comply, and a large line formed to reach the garbage can.

When everyone finished, Yellow pulled out a box cutter and cut the duct tape off of Octavian. Then, Fuchsia, who was carrying the noose, approached Octavian. They stared into each others eyes. Or well, Octavian assumed he was staring into the bigger person's eyes, because his face was covered. For all he knew, Fuchsia could have been looking right past him.

_Well_, Octavian thought. _This is it. I'm about to _die. To be honest, it really wasn't how he had pictured going out.

Fuchsia bent down as if he was about to tie his shoe. Then, without warning, he reached out and grabbed Octavian by the foot, and slipped the noose on. When he was let go, Octavian realized he was being hanged. By the foot, that is.

Right away, he could feel the blood rush to his head. "What is the point of this?" he tried asking one of the skittle people. Of course, he was ignored.

Red spoke up again, this time explaining the rules of the game. Basically they were handing out candy (5 pieces each try), which was to be thrown at the poor legacy, and whoever got the best reaction out of Octavian won. The prize? More candy.

Octavian should have know.

The first person up threw candy at Octavian's face until they ran out of candy.

The second pelted Octavian in places this author is not allowed to talk about, since this story is rated K.

The third started at Octavian's feet and threw his five pieces downwards towards his face.

Octavian remained unamused.

By the end of the half hour Octavian was _still_ unamused and mildly annoyed.

"Are you planning on letting me down anytime soon?" he wondered aloud.

"No!" people in the crowd said.

Octavian rolled his eyes.

* * *

><p>By the end of the hour, the crowd began to thin out. Members of G.R.O.S.S started to get bored, and resorted to eating their tacos for entertainment. They cut mouth holes in their morphsuits. Yellow was leaning heavily on Blue, who didn't look amused.<p>

"Okay," Red said, "We're changing the rules around. Do whatever you want as long as it's not illegal."

Some people in the crowd nodded their heads as they considered this new information. One boy nodded and headed off to the buffet table. He unrolled the paper towels that were being used as cheap napkins and left it on the table. He held the roll and began to experiment swinging it. When he was satisfied, he shrugged and headed back towards the gallowss where Octavian was still hanging.

By now, almost all of his blood was in his head. Or so it felt like. With every heartbeat, he could feel the blood in his brain shifting. He could feel the veins in his scalp pulsing. And yes, it hurt.

So when the boy approached the gallows, Octavian glared with as much hatred as he could muster. Unfortunately, being as red as a cherry tomato, it didn't go over very well. Why was he holding a paper towel tube?

His questions were answered when the boy raised the tube, and then starting hitting Octavian with it. He seemed to be doing it in a beat of sorts, like he was using Octavian as a human drum. After the third bop on right in the face, he finally lost it.

"OKAY!" he shouted, making the boy jump back in surprise. "I GIVE UP! I really, really give up. Please let me down. _Please_!"

He felt like sobbing. Maybe he was. With all the blood in his head, it was kind of hard to think. Ironic, because usually it was hard to think when the blood was somewhere else.

"_Please_ just let me down."

The members of G.R.O.S.S gaped at Octavian. He could only tell because there was a O shaped hole where their mouths should be. Fuchsia grabbed the box cutter from Yellow, and while holding Octavian's feet, he cut the rope. Then he laid Octavian on the ground.

He scrambled to his feet, but found it hard to be right-ways-up all of sudden, as after being upside down for so long, his body was confused. It also didn't help that he was still covered in paper mache. When he realized he wasn't able to stay vertical, he let himself drop to the ground, and decided that crawling on his hands and knees for a while was good enough.

"Do I win?" the boy with the tube asked.

"Uh, yeah," said the red skittle person. He was a bit wary of the boy who had literally just beaten someone into submission with a paper towel tube. He gestured to the candy on the ground. "There's your prize.

The boy fell to his knees and he grabbed a handful of candy and let it fall back to the ground. He began to laugh maniacally. The boy's mother, in the background, cringed.

* * *

><p>Percy started striping out of his morphsuit. Get your head out of the gutter, he was wearing stuff underneath. Jeeze.<p>

The atmosphere of the group was quiet and somewhat ashamed. When they had all settled down, they began to unwind from a long day.

"I dunno about you guys, but do you think that maybe today's 'prank' went a little too far?" Piper said, stopping some sauce from dripping down her chin. Mmm, taco juice.

"Octavian will probably have to go to therapy now," Annabeth commented.

Leo looked up from his spot in Reyna's living room. "Oh, shut up and eat your tacos."

And so they did.

* * *

><p>To be honest, I was kind of dissapointed with the response for last chapter. Is it because last chapter was longer or because it sucked? I'm leaning towards it sucked. Hey, I can't be funny all the time. I try though. Speaking of longer chapter lengths, this one was way longer than I planned. Good or bad? For me, good, because I've been trying to work on writing longer things for my new story that I've been writing, which I'll post after I finish 25WTPO. (THE END IS NEAR!)<p>

My birthday is Sunday, so I can't get actually detention on my birthday again. Anyone else's birthday coming up? And a big, big thanks to my beta, Darknesse Sidhe!

Have a great day, guys, and make mine better by dropping a review c:


	24. Twenty-third way

It was New Year's Eve in New Rome, and Octavian, like the rest of the Romans, knew how to party.

Obviously, New Year's Eve was one of the best excuses to party, and so his fellow Romans had been setting up various party decorations. The streets of New Rome had been almost completely transformed in the past three days, and were now full of bright lights and fluorescent colours. It seemed that this year the theme would be black light, and so stands for ginormous black lights had been set up. Octavian heard the plan was to replace all the street lights with black lights as well.

Perhaps the best addition to the scene was the giant ball that the Vulcan kids set up. It resembled the one in Times Square, New York, although slightly smaller.

Because preparations had started so early, it felt like a whole year had passed before New Year's Eve finally arrived. Octavian was too busy to help out with the preparations, of course, partially because he didn't really care about New Year's. He didn't like many celebrations, unless they revolved around sacrificing things to the gods. He had asked Reyna, but she said that wasn't really appropriate for a New Year's Eve party.

Finally, it was the thirty-first of December, and New Rome was ready to see in the next year. The party and fireworks took place a few hours early, for the few folk in New Rome who weren't apart of the legion yet. Octavian didn't like fireworks. Octavian didn't like parties. Octavian was a kill-joy.

Still, he found himself drinking an obscene amount of soda. He drank so much that he was sure a regular mortal would have perished by now. It happened; mortals were weird. Octavian was glad he was celebrating New Year's inside Camp Jupiter, where there was a distinct lack of mortals.

On his sixth can of soda, while Octavian was attempting to dance with some people he knew, he finally felt the feeling. The feeling. The potty feeling. He didn't bother excusing himself, or saying goodbye to his acquaintances, because he figured he would be back. There was still lots of time: an entire hour before the ball would drop.

Poor Octavian didn't realize that GROSS had plans for him. Poor, poor Octavian.

The public bathrooms in New Rome weren't the newest, though they weren't too awful. He liked to avoid them as often as possible, because sometimes odd things happened in the bathrooms. Odd, unmentionable things.

Octavian picked a stall at random, and entered it. He turned around to shut the door but- what in Pluto!

Crudely taped (duct taped, no less) to the back of the bathroom stall's door, was a smiling teddy bear. Octavian, still mentally scarred from all of the other traumatizing things that had occurred to him involving teddy bears, stumbled back and fell, landing on his butt on the toilet seat.

It took about a minute for him to calm down from the sudden fright, and once he had, he rose from the toilet and- well, he wasn't really sure what he had been planning on doing next, because he didn't really rise from the toilet at all.

It took about ten seconds for him to realize that he was stuck to the toilet.

Correction, glued to the toilet.

Who did that? Thank the gods above that Octavian still had his pants on, or else it would have been a lot more painful getting unstuck from the accursed toilet.

Octavian had two options: one) somehow take his pants off and run around New Rome naked during one of the busiest times of the year, or, two) wait on the toilet until someone came along and rescued him. He didn't like his chances with option one, so Octavian opted to wait.

And so he waited. And waited. And waited, until he finally heard the bathroom door open.

"Hello?" he called out.

"Uh, hi?" the person called back.

"Look, I need some help-"

"What?" the person said. He sounded awfully familiar. "I'm not helping you with anything you're

doing in the bathroom."

Octavian paused. "But I have a problem."

"Don't we all?"

Octavian palmed his face. "Zhang, is that you?"

"Yeah," Zhang replied. "Wait, Octavian?"

"Yes. I need your help."

He received laughter in response. It was the kind of laughter that originated deep in the stomach, a laugh an awful lot like Santa's laugh. "Zhang, this is serious. Just get in here."

"Dear gods, no," Zhang said. "You're on your own."

"Zhang, uh, Frank, help a fellow soldier out. Someone put glue on the toilet seat."

"I can't do anything about that," Zhang said. Octavian heard the sink run, and was abruptly reminded that he still really had to go.

Octavian growled. "Please, Frank, I'm stuck. Come inside the stall and help me get unstuck."

"Ew, no, I don't want to see anything."

"I'm still wearing pants!" Octavian insisted.

"I don't believe that." Octavian could hear Zhang using the hand dryer. He must have just had to wash his hands.

"Look underneath the stall door," Octavian said. "You can tell that my pants are still on."

Zhang made a weird sound. "Didn't your mother tell you not to look under the stall door?"

"Now is not the time to bring out your stupid Canadian morals!"

"Woah, don't attack my culture. Not cool, Octavian, not cool."

"I'm glued to a toilet and I still really have to go. Please, Zhang, just help a fellow soldier out."

It took a minute for the other boy to reply. "Nah, I'm good."

"What?" Octavian squawked.

"You used to make fun of me. You called me fat."

"... That must have been the other Octavian."

"Nope, I'm pretty sure it was you."

"Please, Frank?" he tried one more time.

Octavian heard the bathroom door open. "Happy New Year!" Zhang said, and then the door shut.

For a moment, all was silent. Then a small beeping sound reached Octavian's ears. It grew more frequent as Octavian realized that it was coming from the bear still taped to the bathroom stall's door. Oh dear, this couldn't be good.

When it finally exploded, Octavian wasn't surprised to see a message from GROSS inside, along with a whole mess of confetti.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THIS PRANK WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD PRANK GROUP, GROSS.

The now body-less head of the teddy bear continued to grin down at Octavian as he wiped confetti off his pants. The pants that he was still very much wearing, thank you.

Outside the window, the ball dropped in New Rome, and Octavian was still glued to a toilet.

* * *

><p>My beta got time to edit, finally! Her name is Darknesse Sidhe and you should probably check her out.<p>

This was originally posted on New Year's, it's currently February 24th. I have to say I'm a little bit disappointed with the reviews. So far only twenty some people have, and that's really, really below how many usually come in. So if you're reading this, you should review and make me happy.


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